I'd set two options in my mind: he talk to me or I leave. At 3:45pm, I told DH he had one hour to meet with me. He shrugged his shoulders and walked out the room. At 4:40, he came in with his head low, and said he didn't want to talk about it. "I just want you to forget it; I didn't mean it."

I told him it wasn't possible for me to forget it. I wouldn't be able to forget until we talked about it. He admitted he was embaressed to know he'd said such a terrible thing out of hurt and anger. We talked about that for awhile, and many other things. I laid out new guidelines and expectations for making this continue. I told him not to agree to any of it unless he meant it. HE agreed, he said he'd agree to anything as long as our son and I would stay.

I told him I would no longer take any blame for any actions of the kids. I briefly explained disengagement... that my withdrawal was not out of hatred, but as a protection mechanism. I want to thank whoever posted the Bill of Rights this afternoon, because I threw many of those thoughts in my wording.

I told him if he EVER told me to leave again- even if just in the anger of the moment- I would leave. No questions asked; no waiting for an apology. I told him in mind that was the same as abuse.

I made him commit to two nights a week that we would have "dates." Even if that just meant sitting at the table and sharing a bowl of ice cream together since money is tight. He also had to commit to 2 weekly family meetings to discuss things involving the skids and their activities or behaviors.

Not that sex was even the real issue in all this, but I told him if he thought he was getting ANYTHING tonight or the next few nights, he was crazier than I thought...