Stepmom raising her step children
:? I am a smom of three sd. I am the person who is raising them by myself. Bm lives in Co and BD lives in Texas. All girls have lived with me for the last 7+ years, bd just moved. The 2sds that live with me seemingly do not have any respect for me after almost 8 years of raising them. There bm has not given them birthday presents or anything in that matter for at leaste the last 4 years (has not called them since they came home from summer break 20 days ago). SD2 went to go live with bm and now wants me to give her money for school and other things in her life. BM said "Oh since your SD is living with me you won't pay for her school stuff". What do you do in this case, keep paying for the sd to live with her mom or just stop. FYI SD also says things to you like "I find it offensive if you talk to my school or coaches up here My BM has it taken care of". I dont think I am responsible for raising the child that she gave birth to if she lives with her, am I????
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Um no, you're not. If she's
Um no, you're not. If she's not your kid and she's living with her BM then you have no obligation to her, unless you signed something that legally binds the two of you. Otherwise, just let the kid go. She sounds ungrateful anyway.
That is what I was thinking.
That is what I was thinking. I do raise her sisters but under no true legal documents. The bm gave them up when the divorce happened to bd she was cheating. The bd feels bad and I just told him that we are not responsible anymore for the middle daughter. Crazy thing is I am raising the other two daughters as my own by myself. Thank you so much for the comment, that is how I also felt but people are trying to bring me down.
I give you mad props for
I give you mad props for doing what you're doing. It must be so difficult! Don't let those others bring you down; I bet if they were in your situation their opinions would change so fast it'd make your head spin!
Seriously? This crazy woman
Seriously? This crazy woman is asking you to pay her to raise her own kid? No. And No. And oh god, HELL NO. No, you are not responsible for paying for or raising any child that you did not give birth to, particularly if it doesn't live with you.
Which sort of begs the other obvious question - Why did their dad just move and why didn't they go with him?
Father is in the Military,
Father is in the Military, kids are now in High School...ugh it was a very Hard decision. BM is something that I can't say. Almost waiting until something bad happens to sd2 that lives in CO. Dont know how that one will turn out.
Typically the noncustodial
Typically the noncustodial parent would pay support to help with those items.
By your post I would say BM has not done that for the last several years. Because I am mean today I would suggest finding the child support quidelines in your state. Figure out how much she should have paid your husband since the divorce, how much she would pay for the two kids and subtract out what your husband would pay psycho for one child and tell her to call you when she's paid up.
Meanwhile, no I would not send money.
Kudos to you for supporting your dh in his responsibilities, and trying to be a good support and not move your sd during hs. They may not thank you now, but will in the future