Currently disengaging from 3 adult Skids meaning I will only attend major events. We had lots of contact with BM which was an enormous mistake over 13 years while kids were growing up. She pulled tons of crap and then somehow got the kids to disengage from us. She is alone by choice and sticks to DHs family (her ex-laws) like glue and they readily include her. Her intrusions into my marriage are epic so I made it clear to DH she's out of the picture and we will only be around her if it involves the Skids or grandson. Today she texts us to see if we want to meet for dinner with her and my MIL! She is obviously lonely; all 3 kids are out of town this week buy c'mon!! Anyhow, DH send back "thanks anyhow, another time" and tells her our plans. Now I'm jerked six ways from Sunday and I ask "why did you say another time, don't you know it's never happening that I am socializing with your ex?". Will someone please calm me down?? I am really trying to disengage and it is much better than the past but why this??