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I am the BM!

Kenna's picture

Submitted by Kenna on Wed, 05/09/2012 - 9:17pm

One of my 4 sons (BS14) lives with my xH. The X has been dating a woman for several months now and my son spends a lot of time at her house, even has a bedroom there. This woman is great! She is sweet and kind, not just to my son but to everyone.

After everything I have been through with Skids and BM, I am being extra careful to make sure that I am not a horrible BM lol I have even had discussions with her about letting me know if BS14 gives her any problems (they are still in the 'honeymoon' stage so there haven't been any yet!)

I guess in summary something good has come from my horrible experiences...it has (hopefully) made me a better person!

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HadEnoughx5's picture

Submitted by HadEnoughx5 on Thu, 05/10/2012 - 7:27am

That's awesome. I have that sort of relationship with BM#1. I honestly feel that the relationship between BM and SM, really depends on how receptive the BM is of the SM having a relationship with BM's children.

When I first met BM#1, I had been dating Dh for a year. I met her at ss30's graduation from grad school, it was an entire weekend celebration in another state. I was very nervous meeting her, because my reception from BM#2 was horrible.

BM#1 took the time to sit with me and we had a genuine conversation getting to know each other. She saw my interaction with her children and could see my sincere feelings for her children.

I too am a BM. My X has been seeing someone for a few years, I respect her and she is nice to my children. My children come to me and share things with me about her. I am positive in my thinking and what I say to my children.

Everything boils down to attitude and how we treat one another.

Kenna's picture

Submitted by Kenna on Thu, 05/10/2012 - 10:50am

The x dated a few crazies,you know, the ones that wouldn't let him answer a call from me etc. (I wouldn't call to chat, I would call to tell him one of his kids had a broken bone) Anyway...I kept telling him that all women did not behave this way.
Now that he has found the current girlfriend, he believes me lol