Update on SS moving in
Well he has been here now for 9 months. Turned his grades from failing to all A's and B's. Hygene is getting better but I am to guess that all teenage boys go through this until a girl says "you stink". There have been a lot of ups and downs but in the big picture if it gives him a better shot at life we have to take what we were given and make the best out of it. BM HOWEVER ... continues to make our life hell as she provides no boundries when he visits her. Makes the transition back a little tougher but we are praying that when he gets to HS he will start to see that what we are providing him with is not so negative and will actually help him in the long run ... I don't know .. I guess I will have to wait and see if he ever appreciates all that we are doing for him.
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I always felt the
same with our BM(sugarmama). She has NO boundaries and it was during a summer visitation with sugarmama that my SD, then 15 lost her virginity b/c sugarmama didn't seem to "know" that SD had boys over all night long? WTH? How do you NOT know who is in your house? They lived in a very small double wide trailer, so I know she knew, she just didn't care. We also have custody and it makes everything so very difficult after she visits sugarmama. I know what you are feelings, but I have no answers....just hugs!
Kay - I'm in the same boat
SS13 came to live with us about 5 to 6 months ago and he is improving just like your SS. The BM is the samE, everytime SS13 comes back after his weekend vist with BM we have to start all over again and it drives me nuts. SS13 and his other 2 brothers who are 6 and 10 (SS6 and SS10 live with BM we only have SS13 fulltime) now have chores to do at our place. At BMs, Skids don't need to do a thing so they get back into there lazy mode when he comes home and it starts again.
I know exactly how you feel and it can be so frustrating, but we just have to stick with it and hope that as they get older they will understand why.
Good Luck hun. PM me if you need to talk.