I think you are right, he just doesn't have time or space for a relationship, right now. Him saying that it will work out, says he doesn't really plan on making time for you but he wants you to stick around.

Dating someone with kids is hard enough but 3 teenagers? No, thanks.

You are child free, date someone who has time for you.

On Steptalk here, I've read about fathers who begin dating before they work out being a divorced dad.  That means resolving the housing, BM and all the other issues.  They don't really have the time or brainspace for a new relationship until they have done that.  It sounds like your BF hasnt really ironed out all thise issues yet.  He is probably very attracted to you but his circumstances are working against it.  And, that's not even considering 3 cod (child of divorce) teenagers.  I would let this one go or you will have quite a rocky road ahead.  Good luck.

In that relationship fog period of time.  Think about the future,  As in there is no future .  Unless you want to be the maid and bed warmer.  If you don't have SK in bed with you 

In that relationship fog period of time.  Think about the future,  As in there is no future .  Unless you want to be the maid and bed warmer.  If you don't have SK in bed with you 

Girl, run. You know that is the only logical course here... 

Also, he is not interested in your needs in a relationship... he just wants to keep you - after all, thus far you have put up with never having quality time together, his lack of ability to properly support himself, his rude family and I am sure much more you haven't talked about yet. 

Do you want a happy life... or a life with this loser (he very much sounds like one)? You can have one or the other - I promise, you can not have both. 

They really don't want to spend time with their parents at this age in my experience.  I know some people have strange teens without social lives but mine always want to be at friend's houses or at the skating rink or somewhere with a friend.  It's been different with covid so maybe when all the social distancing ends the teens won't want to hang out with dad and he can have more time with you. 

You have no kids. Don't you want to be in a partnership where you can try new things together, maybe travel, have a normal routine but also be spontaneous? I do, and i have 2 teenagers myself. Idk. The fact that he's tied to the kids and his rude father every single weekend sounds like a major drag. Moody texts from the mom? Idk what that means but it sounds like some bullsht that needs to be ended. Maybe if he gets his own place, stops the BM drama, and if the teens are responsible enough to watch themselves sometimes. Maybe. Do you think he is close or will he be saving up for years? 

Your expectations are reasonable,  and this man simply is not relationship material at this time.  I'd move on.

I think I am a little confused by the living situation in general here.

Does he live with his dad or are you living together? Does he pawn his kids off on his dad?

If you really want this relationship to work- which it sounds like it isn't really worth it to me- there are somethings he would need to do to make it happen. 

Every single weekend when you both work long hours doesn't leave time for your relationship. He isn't that far off from 50/50 custody. Would he be willing to try to get week on week off? Or go to less Every other weekend and Wednesday dinners? 

You mentioned that he has been saving for a deposit on a house and that you have been together for almost a year. Is he that bad with money? Does he pay more than he is order to pay to BM? Is he a Disney dad all weekend, every weekend and the money is just down the drain on the kids? 

Also out of curiosity how old are you, how old is he and do you want kids of your own? 

Don't discount the negative impact family members, like his father and kids, can have on your relationship if they don't like you AND your partner keeps them around.

I can't comment poorly on him saving up for somewhere to live because DH and I were both living with our respective parents when we started dating. It was not ideal, and it was hard. I'm personally glad that we didn't have the opportunity to live together early on because it pushed both of us to make plans to get out of our respective situations faster (I was coming out of a divorce and had to dig myself out of a financial hole; DH had been in a constant money and emotional suck from BM).

Anyway, the issue here isn't totally the physical space piece. I get that, and if it were just that, you can work through it. But the bigger issues are that his family doesn't like you and that limits your ability to spend time with your BF AND his kids. That last bit is important because spending time with them is *essential* as you try to figure out if you can live with them long-term.. You have to be able to watch your BF parent, and if you can't, you don't know what kind of situation you are walking into.

So, should you leave? It sounds like you two don't really get to spend quality time together except to sleep. Is that enough to sustain a relationship for you? Does he have an actual, tangible timeline for when he is going to get his own place? I think it's reasonable to stay in this relationship pretty casually if you'd like, but I wouldn't put much stock in it being a serious relationship because you two can't do anything serious together. If you look at relationship development by length of relationship (i.e. how many months/years you've been together), your relationship "maturity" is going to be delayed. A year together may actually be more like 6 months because of how infrequently you interact, and those interactions remain surface-level because there is no time to really develop anything deeper. 

So, you don't NEED to leave, but you do need to be realistic about what this relationship is and its limitations.

This guy is in no place to be dating.  I don't blame his father one bit for not wanting to be saddled with yet one more person in his home every weekend.  Shame on your BF for doing that to his dad.  How would you feel if 5 people descended on your home every weekend?  

Of course the kids don't care for you either.. their mother likely is feeding them some of that.. also.. they are used to having dad to themselves.. and it seems like he has precious little time anyway.. 

This guy does not have the bandwidth to date anyone.  You don't have long invested in the relationship.. I would back out gracefully while you can.

The problems here don't 100% tie to him having teen kids either.

1.  He doesn't have a home suitable for his family.. much less one more person (you). He isn't financially stable enough to provide for his own kids in other words

2.  He has poor boundaries with his ex to tolerate constant interruptions and engage in back and forth with her.

3.  He blows off your concerns.

4.  He doesn't insist that his family treat you with respect.. (kids or dad).

He just wants to pigeon hole you into the cracks of his life where he wants you.. which aren't large.

He doesn't have time or resources to date anyone.  He needs to get his life in order first.

You have known him for under a year. This part of the dating stage should be romantic, fun, silly, weekend getaways. NOT dealing with rude parents or skids. It seems you have none of this with this man, and he certainly is not making room for you in his life.

You are childless and work hard during the week. Your weekends should be filled with relaxation and enjoyment.

I tend to agree with all the responses above. He does not have time for you. Its very selfish of him to think he can be in a relationship. Oh and throw in moody texts from the ex . No thanks!!

Move on and enjoy life, you deserve that!

Your boyfriend agreed to every weekend (my words) , Friday until Sunday night AND   lives with this dad?

 'I feel like he doesnt have space for me".....he doesnt. Listen to that inner voice. (((HUGS))))