You are here

Is it wrong of me?

katiew's picture

Is it wrong of me to leave because I am unhappy even though it will hurt him. I just dont have the feelings I had for him anymore and I cant give him what he wants. If I leave it will really hurt him but am I hurting him more by staying?

Comments

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

No. it's not wrong. It is OUR RIGHT as people to look for situations in which we can feel safe, secure, and content (I won't even say happy), and leave situations which make us miserable, scared, or are toxic. It's nice if both people try very hard to work on the unhappy parts, and even better if they can succeed, but if one does not want to work on it, the other SHOULD go and not subject themselves to a hurtful situation any longer.

This is my take on it, some people think love is unconditional, meaning to take the good with the bad and never try to improve the bad, but I personally do not believe that.

RedWingsFan's picture

You've got to look at YOUR life and YOUR happiness. Don't live your life to make someone else happy. We're only here for a little while, make the best of it.

He'll move on and get over it in time. The most important thing is how YOU feel. If you're unhappy and know that he's not the one for you, you'd be doing both of you a favor if you moved on and left him to find someone else.

Just my opinion!

Good luck!

katiew's picture

we are married and have been for almost 7 years. The last year and half or two years we have been distant and not connected at all. He got drunk on valentines and mad at me for not getting him a card(got him a gift certificate) Told me I spend more time with my gf, i let another man touch my feet, (had a pedicure) etc etc. I went to a hotel for the night. We havent had sex in over a year and I dont want him to touch me and he hasnt tried. When we do speak it is about work. There is always dead silence for minutes at a time. He sleeps alot and doesnt want to do anything but gets mad when I dont make plans. It seems as if we have drifted apart.

stormabruin's picture

Put yourself in his shoes. Would you want to be with someone who to stays with you out of pity? He deserves someone who loves him as much as you deserve someone you can love.

misSTEP's picture

It takes two people to love each other for a relationship to work. Even then, it can be "iffy." If one person is unhappy to the point that they want to leave the relationship and there is no hope of repair, then they need to leave that relationship.

Anything less is hurting BOTH of you as you may be able to find someone who is "perfect" for you. And that goes for BOTH of you.