how are the expenses for skids split when there is 50/50 custody?
FDH and I were having a conversation this morning about the impending response from BM and Mr. Clueless Lawyer regarding the re-writting of their parenting plan and his wishes to adjust the current custody agreement. (FDH Wants 50/50) At the momment we have SD5 EOW, FDH pays child support and on top of that he is responsible for half of "expenses for raising SD". (crazy me...i always though that was what Child Support was for)
Medical bills, School supplies, field trip fees, and mutually agreed upon activities/sports have always been and will continue to be split down the middle, that goes without saying. But outside of that, what else would FDH be responsible for?
FDH biggest gripe is sending clothes to BMs house. When ever we bought SD new clothes and she wore them to go to BMs, we never saw them again. It was like goblins came and stole them. Bm always packed the ugliest, most worn, tattered clothing when SD was coming over. So last year FDH asked BM not to pack any more clothes for SD when she was coming. And what ever she had on when we picked her up, is what he would bring her back home with. So far that works great (for us). I have pretty clothes to dress the kid when we go out, and she doesnt look like an adopted homeless child.
Anyway, He wants to make sure that in the new parenting plan that clothing will not travel with SD5 when she goes from house to house. She will have her own wardrobe at BMs, and at our house. That being said, BM buys clothes for her house, and we buy clothes for ours. There will be no need to present BM with money to "shop" for SD every four months. That seems like an honestly "fair" arrangement to me, since both houses will be responsible for their own clothing. Or should FDH still "help" BM with clothing cost, or ANY other expenses after 50/50?
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Our arrangement with SD and
Our arrangement with SD and SS is 50/50, no child support (for now), medical dental and child care is split 50/50, they have their own clothing at each household, and transportation is split. When it's DH's week BM drops them off at our house and when it's her week DH drops them off at BM's house. We also have her on email contact only unless it's an emergency. This keeps her craziness at bay and helps us have a life outside of what she wants to allow us.
We have SD4 week on, week
We have SD4 week on, week off. We provide a full wardrobe at our house and BM provides at her house. I pick up SD4 when she is coming to our house. BM2 picks her up to take her back to her house. We pay 1/2 of her dance class and expenses related to dance gear, ballet slippers and such. There has yet to be anything medical related, its not written in the CO, I would assume DH would pay 1/2 of that. SD4 should be starting preschool in the fall, if SD4 is not enrolled in the free program, DH has no problem paying 1/2 of the preschool tuition.
IMO, the CO was very poorly written. It really addresses nothing other than 50/50 physical, 50/50 legal, week on, week off. Talks nothing about money. However, BM2 is pretty reasonable.. so far.. If SD4 needs something we talk about it and come up with a solution.
If BM is not reasonable I highly suggest having EVERYTHING written into the CO.
BM is the farthest thing from
BM is the farthest thing from reasonable, thats why FDH wants the clothing thing in there. he doesnt want to pay for clothes he doesnt even see on SD.
my arrangment with dd, he
my arrangment with dd, he supplies clothes for his, i supply clothes for mine. sd and ss, dh sends clothes.
as far as cs, my attorney explained that extra costs (co pays, medical bills, ec's) are considered extra. since ec is not required to keep dd's heart pumping, i don't even go there (and he wouldn't help). i have to fight him for medical expenses, but that's a rare cost, and usually not worth the fight. so i usually just eat that (unless it's over 200 out of pocket)
Totally agree with this!!!!!
Totally agree with this!!!!! IF you get too specific it will open a can of worms that will haunt you for years. Our BM pays NOTHING for SD absolutely NOTHING!!! SO pays CS and pays 100% of everything that child needs. Clothes, shoes, field trips, doctor, school activities, you name it he pays for it. SD used to call him when she was at her BM's to ask him for money so they could go to the movies!!!!!
We came to the conclusion that SD will just have to go without sometimes. We are not paying crazy CS then pay for everything else too. We already know BM won't do it. So SD goes without sometimes. The only thing BM has done for her in the years I have been around was Winter formal. SHe borrowed a dress, shoes, and jewelry from a friend. BM took her shopping for a pair of shoes but they couldn't find any. She put out zero dollars and a bit of effort. Everything else falls on us to do. Now SD wants a dress for graduation (8th grade) shoes, hair done, nails done the whole nine yards. We decided to give her 50.00 and let her mom do all the leg work.