I feel like I spend too much of my new life, complaining. Always crying, feeling like an outsider, trying to fix things, apologizing for the way I feel. I am so tired and overwhelmed, I honestly had not for a minute given thought to what step parenting would be like. I was married to my bio kids (28 and 25) for 7 years and have had a successful co-parenting life with him ever since. For sure, over the years I had dated men who had children but it was peripheral, I was not living with them, nor was it even close to a forever thing, and it was pretty normal feeling.

    Then I reconnected with a school friend a couple years ago, the last thing I imagined was we would end up married and that his practically grown children would be ruining my life. Maybe I am being melodramatic, I am unsure but F#$K! SS23 just moved out last year with my encouragement so I had that against me from his point of view. He has flourished being an adult and taking care of his business and compared to last year this time, is doing great with everything except me. His Mom makes sure to constantly be whispering in his ear all the things I am stealing from him. I don't understand why he thinks I am a gold digger, for crying out loud I went from living in my own place on a golf course with no bills to moving in to a gawd dang double wide on his parents property with tons of monthly financial commitments. He won't talk to me or come to the house if I am home and honestly, I care very little because it costs me nothing. SD18 is where I am about to become a jumper. She just moved out 2 months ago with a dramatic F you to me and doesn't to speak to me or her Dad. We pay $660 for her car, car insurance, cell phone and cell phone bill and I am LIVID. I do not think that a grown adult who is disrespectful and doesn't work or go to school should have that kind of benefit Hubby made the commitment to pay these things before we were married and I feel like I  should feel guilty for wanting to pressure him to stop. It is causing me so much resentment, I have just started going to counseling and every single day that goes by that our finances suffer so that "child" has the luxury to lay around all day and eat ice ceram, makes me CRAZY. I want to run away. I love my husband but I hate that he just refuses to address this. He is guilty, he is afraid of not being liked, or loved. SD actually demanded he divorce me. WTF??? How in the world do I be okay with stepping back? How do I become cool with all of this? I want to demand he stop paying for an adults lifestyle when that adult does not contribute anything. My counselor says I just need to disengage and not talk about the kids to him. I feel like that is just making me feel more resentful.....All of this said, I am thankful to know I am not alone. Thank you to each and every one of you. I appreciate you!