Last week my husband showed his true colors on facebook. He has always made such a fuss that we are one family and his kids are my kids and my kids are his kids, blah blah blah. Insisted that he looks at my kids as "his" and he loves them just as much as his does his bio kids. All of this has been said repeatedly with more than a little censure as I do not get along with several of his kids. The implication has always been that he is the better step parent than I am.

Late last week he goes on facebook and reposts one of those "My daughter is wonderful" things and writes "all 4 of them". He has 4 bio daughters but he also has 1 SD (my bd). My bd asks (on facebook) "don't you have 5 daughters?" No response on Facebook but he calls me to tell me that he has "screwed up". When I ask him about the post he admits that he was thinking only about his BD's!!! He forgot my BD. I tell him that I am very hurt and so is my BD. The idiot then tells me that he knew that I would not have his back on this one. Sooooo, you publicly treat your SD like she does not exsist and I am supposed to have your back? My BD was 10 years old when we met and lived with us until she went to college. Kind of hard to forget a child that lived in your home for 9 years. He 'forgot" about her but was able to remember the 2 BD's that he had almost no contact with for their entire lives. The fight we had was huge and I had to tell him that he owed her an appology and that he should call her. DUH!!

It was a small thing on Facebook but for me it is a huge issue. It is how he really feels. He counts, his kids count, my kids don't count. If he has not spent years telling me how I don't do enough for his kids, or how I was not a good SM to his kids, I might be more gracious of his forgetting my daughter.

I don't expect any advise on this one. He is what he is and won't be changing any time in the near future. I would never consider rejecting any of his kids in response - that would be mean spirited. However, I will not take to heart any of his criticism of my lack of involvement in his kids lives.

Oh, when DH called my BD to appologize for leaving her off his "daughter list" he was genuine and believed that she would never forgive him. She responded with "of course I can forgive you, that is what families do". Could not have been more proud of her.