So, here I am with 15 months of disengagement from SD2 and DH is starting to hint around that SD2 does not know why I don't talk to her any more. Subtle speak for "poor me, SM does not call me". I am also guessing she is unhappy that her kids don't get Christmas or birthday presents anymore either. She might also be wondering if the kids are getting any more deposits into the educational accounts that I set up for them. All that is now the responsibility of DH and he knows it. I do remind him several times to buy the presents or make the deposits but I wont do it for him. Period. He would buy them but he is the forgetful professor type that just can't quite make some of these things happen. I am also guessing that some of his forgetfulness is his hope that if he does not do it I will pick up the slack because I don't like to see children be punished for their parents behavior.

I told DH that the phone works both ways but I would be hard pressed to have anything more than the most shallow of conversations with DH2 without bring up how unhappy I am with her behavior during MIL's funeral. She used the event as a Booty call. While my outrage is for the whole family it is mostly for my DH. He was with his mother when she passed and held her hand while the life left her. He battled his sister to plan a funeral with involvement from all of his siblings and their adult kids - a funeral that his mother wanted. It was a touching and spiritual event with the tears and joys that memorialized a woman with a life well lived. To use the event as a cover to get laid boggles my mind and I believe that she owes DH a huge apology for her behavior.

I am not writing here to ask if I should break down and give SD2 a call. I wont. I can't make myself. I doubt that she will ever call me but she is, once again, using others to do her dirty work. She is trying to make my DH feel bad that his daughter is being excluded from the family since she has "no idea" why we don't talk anymore. DH knows how I feel about her behavior and could easily tell her when she brings up (frequently now) the lack of communication on their calls.

Thanks, I just needed to vent and let some of this goofy, dysfunctional triangulation out.

I need to repeat to myself. I did not cause it, I can't control it, I can't cure it.