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Tell me does this make sense?

Itwillgetbetter's picture

Yesterday SD went to take a shower. The brush that I brush my hair with is in that same bathroom where she showered and that is the brush that she uses when she comes over. Well She finishes taking a shower and she goes to the room i guess to hang up her towel. Well she goes all the way to the kitchen to ask her father for the brush. And him like the dumb ass he is goes to get it. Does this make sense? Why didnt she get it herself? Why in front of her father she acts like she is so afraid of me but behind his back she talks to me with no problem... I asked her if shes scared of me and she says no. So why does she act different in front of her dad?????

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bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

SD17 pulls the same sh1t. Thanksgiving day, for instance, she asks her father if she can use MY computer. I say MY computer because of how the jerk acted over me using HIS phone.

Did anyone ask me? Nope. Oh, and SD's called their father to thank him for Thanksgiving. WTF? I'm the one who did all the work! And oh, they had so much fun playing games with H-yeah, while my son and I did all the cleanup. Leeches. Actually, that's too kind of a word for how I feel today.

I'm failing at the detach/disengage thing so badly over this holiday. I am so pi$$ed over how H and his lazy brats acted. If they're all trying to make sure I hate 'em, they're going about it the right way.

BMJen's picture

And because DH will do it, no matter how stupid it is. My SD 14 does the same crap sometimes. She has a issue with being tucked in bed. She's 14 but thinks that her daddy still has to come cover her up and get her all snuggled. How precious.........yeah if you're freaking 2.....not 14. Now she'll try to whisper it to him..because I have a fit about it every time she tells him to. DH just laughs at her now like c'mon.

I was talking to my mom about it on Thanksgiving. I said mom what would you have said to me if I asked you to come tuck me in bed when I was fourteen? She laughed at me and told me she would have laughed right at me and told me to get my stupid ass on to bed! LOL! DH even laughed about it.

DH should have to her to get her own brush and stop being so lazy.

Not My Real Mom's picture

I've been there on so many levels and I feel so much for you. SD won't go to you because you pose a threat to her enchanted world. DH (dumb husband) keeps her tucked away in her enchanted world. He doesn't want to burst the bubble and he cannot deal with confrontation.

I asked my DH why he let sd get away with so many things. Why does he give in to her all the time. I asked if he was afraid of her. He said, yes. He doesn't want to start something because he is afraid she'll fake something like child abuse against him (which she is very capable of doing if she doesn't get her way). I told him he's created a monster. There is no BM in this situation, however, so he's not trying to be the best parent. He's just afraid of confrontation.

When I first met DH, he would actually carry the twins, ss and sd, out of the bedroom and dress them. They would kick and scream at him but he just did it because he had to hurry to work. They were almost 6 years old. After about 2 weeks of this I had just about had it. I told him they are old enough to dress themselves. He had a little meeting with them and told them they'd have to start dressing themselves. They had no problem with it. They felt more grown up. My guess is that is was more convenient for DH to give in rather than to let them grow and do things for themselves.

My ss is great but sd still likes being pampered and DH still gives in, as I explained above.

PS...my little picture is of the princess when she was 6. The costume was 100.00. It was the second costume she got because she decided she didn't like the first 100.00 costume for Halloween.

yournotmyrealmom

“When all else fails, get a dog.”

lil_teapot's picture

My H is the same...gets manipulated by his kids and he's too dumb to see it. Plus when it really does call for him to parent/confront them, he backs down. You really have a way with words n.m.r.m.

Tara12's picture

Her lazy ass could have gotten the bruth herself but what I read from another post about you bugging her to even have to shower she should have her own brush, whatever! She just wanted to ask her dad so yeah he could think that she was scared to ask you which I'm sure she isn't. Next time tell your H to tell her to get he own brush, or whatever it is she is asking for - what LAZINESS!!!

disgusted's picture

I experiance this garbage in my home on a dialy basis when DH is present...It's nothing more then step brat being a manipulating drama queen..She asks her dad because she knows that I will say..Your 12 and old enough to get such and such or do such and such for yourself..DH, on the other hand, still treats her like she is a two year old..Half the time when I try to talk to his precious darling or ask her a question he will but in and answer for her..Like she can't even speak for herself!! I chime up and say, "Gosh, I don't know how she managed to speak for herself for those 15 months that you were deployed!"

She pretends like she is totally helpless and afraid of me also...Because she is trying to manipulate her father, get him to feel sorry for her, and do everything for her lazy little butt..I think she also knows that he won't say "no" to her when she asks him..She especially does this kind a crap when she is asking for something or wants to do something she knows that I would darn well say "no" too..It's just a way to undermine me and get around my rules by playing her father...If she can push his "sympathy button" she gets away with murder and growns a halo while I grow horns with DH...When he is on a "whoe is step brat" role there is no reasoning with him...She can do whatever she wants and if I saw anything then I am the "evil step mom" and he just feels more sorry for her..It's truly nauseating.

The step brat is one of those who likes to manipulate people by trying to get them to "feel sorry" for her and seeks attention from others by means of trying to gain their sympathy...She gets this manipulation tactic from DH's mom aka: the martyr in law/ the smother in law/ Hagfish/ (or my personal favorites "Scarelyn or Night-marilyn" (Guess you can figure out hag fishes first name!! LOL...)

I am a real bitch at times and just call step brat on this crap...When she goes into her "performance"...I will either give her a standing ovation or I will say "That was a 7...Next time you might want to lay on the water works or add some body trembling to the act!"...LOL...

In a perfect world their would be retroactive abortion capabilities.~ disgusted step mom

Not My Real Mom's picture

My DH always steps in and answers for the skids and himself. It's as though I'm an outsider, even after 10 years.

What really surprises me is that he criticizes the parenting skills of other parents. He says things like, "So & such lets his kid go to the mall even though the kid is failing." You get the idea. I just stand there picking my jaw up from the floor.

“When all else fails, get a dog.”

disgusted's picture

LMAO...My DH does the same thing with critcizing others parenting!! He pointed out something similar about other parents who let their daughter go do things when they are grounded..I finally told him.."Sounds familiar" or "Have you been giving out parenting advice?"...Yep, he shut right up..lol

In a perfect world their would be retroactive abortion capabilities.