I have known my husband forever even before we both had kids (childhood sweethearts). He has a 18 year old (who he lost custody of when the child was 4 (long story-not his fault) just got back at 17) and a 20 year old. I have a 15 year old and a 13 year old and we have a 2 year old together. Problem is I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT STAND his kids. Their rude,disrespectful, have very bad attitudes, dirty, lazy have no direction in life and its frustrating. His son(18) just recently moved in with us and its been a nightmare. He talks back, is very disrespectful, filthy, doesn't clean up after himself, rarely take baths 1-2 (if I'm lucky) a week (who does that?...) doesn't work or go to school which I'm totally against. His dad however seems to think it's okay for an 18 year old to lie around the house, eat up all the food (literally) and do nothing all day. Plus, did I mention his on a lot of medication for bipolar, anger issues, anti psychotic, not being able to sleep...the list goes on and on. I'm not use to this and dont know how to deal with this especially since my girls are terrified of him. So not only are we very uncomfortable with him in our own home were scared. Now, on to his daughter(20) just recently I've decided that I do not want this girl in our home (she lives with her grandmother-her choice) and I will not allow her to come over. In the beginning we were close (so I thought) I did my best to love his daughter and make her feel like one of my own. Everything I did for my children I did for her,we did a lot of family things together. We talked a lot I would give her advice everything was fine then 1 yr into it she felt the need to change and become this evil, rude , manipulating attitude having child. After her change I still tried (It is his daughter for God's sake) but nothing changed it actually became worse. This girl has done everything to try and tear us apart from her faking having to go to the ER numerous times (mysteriously on my Birthday or our anniversary....go figure) to her and her brother telling me they don't like me (where did that come from) to them telling me to leave when I'm at their family events. Since they both felt the need to verbally attack me at one of their family events last year while their father stood by and said absolutely nothing ( only to try and justify their actions later on in the evening once we got home), I made a vow to NEVER be around them again at the same time..Is that wrong of me? I understand they probably feel like I came into the picture and took their father away but it was never a case of me excluding them or being mean to them. Im the one who always encouraged family time with all of us. My husband Thanks me all the time for remaining calm and and staying nice because he see's how I treat them compared to how they treat me BUT he feels their his kids and no matter what I should always try. The last 2 years however have been Hell and Im over it. I just cant anymore (when it comes to his kids that is). I refuse to be direspected any longer. My husband just makes excuses for everything they do and then expects me to always make it right. Where do I draw the line? I'm tired of being disrespected especially since I've been nothing but kind. Im also tired of my husband and I fighting because I wont allow his daughter over. I want him to just except the fact that were probably NEVER going to get along (despite his wishes) because she's pushed me to my edge and I can't anymore. I'm DONE. I feel it's bad enough I have to deal with his son and all of his issues and live being uncomfortable in my own home and in fear but now he wants me to except his daughter back for the 100th time for more abuse. I've heard things are going to be different this time so much that when my husband tells me that now it means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING...Am I wrong or should I be trying again?......Any advice would be greatly appreciated :?