I am so flipping mad right now. Remeber how I blogged awhile back about my son, our son not wanting his Big Half Brother...SS15 to go to watch his wrestling practive and crying about it. Well I figured tonight is not our night to have the stepkids so my son would get his chance to have some attention at practice without his big brother trying to compete for his father's attention. I planned to go tonight for the firts time, me work schedule, kid's health and the blasted head lice SD15 gave our household all kept me from going in the past...well tonight I WAS going to go. But jackass DH shows up after going to the gym with his son whom is not supposed to be here today. Sorry if that makes me a bitch but this is our time, our family time without them here ruining it all and DH has to go pick up that jerk to ruin it all. SO I AM NOT going to the practice because I can't stand to be around my step son when he is trying to steal my child's thunder. I feel like a horrible mother for letting ym son down and not going but trust me it is better than the fight that will encure if I go and witness my step son's attention seeking BULL SHIT...not to mention my 15 year old step son only going so he too can learn the moves because he can't stand that my son is doind a sport he never learned to do himself. So it bothers me that he is going to learn off the program that he did not sign up for and did not pay for...He is ignoratn enough to ask the coaches tips for himeslef which takes away from the K-5th graders who are in the program and paid for it....SO I AM STAYING HOME JUST STEAMING MAD...I also need to stay home because it is the only way to get DH to understand that this is not OK and will not be tolerated with me...I hope I did not break my little boys heart...I told him I had diahhrea (which is true but I was going to go anyway until SS15 showed up)...But I really can't take another night of eggshells right now...and there are eggshells to be walked on everytim the step kids are hear...especcially since they DO NO WRONG...SO now becuase Thursday is the next practice and THursday is our day with the step kids I won't get my chance to go until next Tuesday and that is if my dumb ass husband gets it that our 5 year old really does not want his brother going all the time, he craves attention of his own but is too scared to tell his dad because even at 5 he already knows that dads other kids will alwasy come first and heaven forbid dad do something to make his 5 year old happy if it means saying no to the 15 year old....I hate this shit. I knew I was marrying a man that had other kids and that they would be more important than me ( which sucks ass by the way but I accept it) ...but i did not know that I was marrying a dumb ass who has no clue what kids need, and a man who does not have the balls to say no to SS15, SD15 , MIL or the ex-wife, or last but most inefriorating a man that would even have the damn kids from the first marriage come before his own kids with me not some of the time but 110% of the time. Every kid should get thier chance to be the # 1 priority some of the time. My kids don't even get it on their birthdays because we didn't concieve at the right time and my kids were born too close to mothers day and too close to christmas to get thier own day every year...