Spanking backfired
DH finally got home and tried the get tough approach to handling SS (almost 12) after he went psycho crazy, terrorized DD 3.5 and tore up his room (see the previous blog post)
Just to explain, nothing gets thru to SS at all. He doesn’t care about anything. As soon as you take anything away from him as a consequence or punishment, he doesn’t want it. You can’t motivate him to do anything. The whole concept of rewards just is above his head or something. He doesn’t ask for anything and you can’t get him to do anything he doesn’t want to do.
He's on antidepressants and in therapy but nothing works and he's been getting worse and worse.
His antics this afternoon was the last straw. DH told him that he needed to clean up his room, shower and go downstairs and apologize to DD. SS refused and won’t talk to anyone. DH told him he had on a count of 10 to get out of bed or else there was going to be hell to pay and he was going to spank him. DH just wanted to scare him but it didn’t get any reaction out of SS.
When DH tried to grab him to make him get up, SS scrambled away and hid under his bed. DH couldn’t get him out and his room stinks like urine so he must have peed under there.
DH called his psychiatrist and assumed he’d say it’s time to take him to an inpatient program, but he just wants us to meet with SS’s therapist tomorrow morning without SS. But I don’t want to meet with the therapist. I don't care about SS getting help. I want this kid gone now.
DH is on the phone with BM now. Hopefully there’s some resolution and he’s on a flight tomorrow morning. I’ve been checking all the airline policies on unaccompanied minors in advance. It would be better to wait until he’s 12 to fly alone but I’m not waiting another 3 weeks. If he’s still here tomorrow afternoon, I’m going to go completely loose it. DD is scared to death of SS. I don’t want her to be scared to be in her own home.
I’m telling DH that SS needs to be 5000 miles away in BM’s country tomorrow night or the kids and I are leaving and staying with my sister until he’s gone. Hopefully that gets a reaction out of him.
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Comments
Holy smoke girl! You are in a
Holy smoke girl! You are in a living nightmare!
I hope that kid gets out of your house SOON! AND that he gets the help he clearly needs!
Wow!
:jawdrop:
Talked to DH. He's sending
Talked to DH. He's sending him over to BM. He's calling the airline that has direct flights from New York now. It's going to be expensive, but that doesn't matter. The plane tickets probably cheaper than inpatient hospitalization he's headed to anyways. Let BM deal with all his problems over there. They have socialized medicine.
Apparently I missed it, but
Apparently I missed it, but why didn't SS just go with BM when she was deported/green card expired in the first place?
BM wanted him to stay in the
BM wanted him to stay in the US because she intended on just getting everything cleared up and come back. She wasn't deported. She technically "self deported" and left before she was deported and then couldn't come back for 10 years. It was the middle of the school year, so she wanted SS to continue in school here rather than go from the US to her native country and then back to the US.
She also doesn't have a place to live. She's been going between her parents' 1 bed room apartment in a smaller town and her cousin's place in a major city. She doens't have a job or any way to support herself and doesn't want to stay there.
I wanna say you can put an
I wanna say you can put an unaccompanied minor on US Airways. You have to actually go their website and book a ticket because sites like expedia and orbitz wont give you that option. Good luck
As soon as his psychiatrist
As soon as his psychiatrist once again blamed us and wanted to make his therapist come in on a holiday to meet with us to discuss a "game plan" to deal with SS's outburts, I knew there was absolutely no hope for any improvement. All his doctors ever do is blame DH and me for all of SS's problems. They won't acknowledge that this kid is seriously messed up and won't do anything about it.
He's leaving now and that's all I care about. He can go terrorize people in his BM's country.
I feel for the kid, he
I feel for the kid, he obviously has issues. But ultimately he's not your child and not your responsibility. And you certainly shouldn't be compelled to have him in your home when he scares and bullies your child in their own home. Good riddance.