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International Stepparent Adoptions

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Submitted by Invisible Woman on Mon, 12/31/2012 - 1:27pm

Does anyone have experience with international stepparent adoptions? My DH wants to let BM's husband adopt SS but it seems complicated since multiple countries are involved (we're in the US and SS was born here and there's CS still being paid through the US family court system, BM is in Europe and wants to move to a different EU country). His attorney said he would look into it.

SS is gone

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Submitted by Invisible Woman on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 2:55pm

DH left with SS this morning and their flight lifted off a few hours ago. It’s all for the best but it’s been a very rough week and BM has been nasty about all of this. I feel like I’ve been getting verbally beaten up by everyone.

Tips for flying kids as unaccompanied minors internationally?

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Submitted by Invisible Woman on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 9:08pm

Anyone flown skids as unaccompanied minors on international (or very long) flights? Any tips?

SS is almost 12 and it’s a 9 hour flight from New York to his destination. DH will be flying cross country to his connection in New York with him (to make sure it goes smoothly and because the airline was worried about what would happen with SS if the flight was cancelled and no one was there with him overnight).

The day after

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Submitted by Invisible Woman on Wed, 07/04/2012 - 3:35pm

SS will be leaving Friday morning. The tickets are all booked and we’re trying to get him packed and everything together for him to go.

I expected he was going to be excited when we told him that he was going since he’s so utterly miserable here but it didn’t get any reaction out of him at all. I honestly don’t think he misses his mom or will miss his dad or cares about anything.

Spanking backfired

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Submitted by Invisible Woman on Tue, 07/03/2012 - 9:59pm

DH finally got home and tried the get tough approach to handling SS (almost 12) after he went psycho crazy, terrorized DD 3.5 and tore up his room (see the previous blog post)

Just to explain, nothing gets thru to SS at all. He doesn’t care about anything. As soon as you take anything away from him as a consequence or punishment, he doesn’t want it. You can’t motivate him to do anything. The whole concept of rewards just is above his head or something. He doesn’t ask for anything and you can’t get him to do anything he doesn’t want to do.

SS just went crazy

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Submitted by Invisible Woman on Tue, 07/03/2012 - 5:58pm

I’m not sure exactly what happened but SS completely snapped and went batshit crazy at my 3.5 year old daughter.

They were both upstairs in their rooms and all of a sudden I heard loud banging on the wall in SS’s room. He was kicking, punching and banging on the wall and shouting at DD. DD was in her room (next to SS’s room) playing after her nap and she was terrified and the small shelf that’s on that wall in her room was knocked down with all the pounding on the wall and her Pooh stuffed animals all came falling down.

How do I convince DH that SS needs to leave?

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Submitted by Invisible Woman on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 9:10pm

It’s clear that it isn’t working with SS (almost 12) living with us full-time. I keep trying to bring this up with DH but he refuses to see it and expects me to make it work. It’s his son, not mine. Why should I be the one that needs to make this work and to raise this child?

SS’s behavior problems have been getting progressively worse. Nothing has helped and there’s no possible way I can spend the whole summer taking care of him. DH has a job that’s taking a lot of his time and requires him to travel and he doesn't have the time to deal with his son. I just get dumped on.

DH gone 3 days next week on business, I'm stuck with SS

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Submitted by Invisible Woman on Thu, 06/07/2012 - 9:21pm

DH has to go to a business conference next week and I get stuck with SS(almost 12) the whole time (3 days, 2 nights). That's also the first week of summer vacation. I wish I didn't get dumped on like this but I don't know what else to do.

DH's job involves traveling and he can't tell his boss he can't go because his wife won't watch his kid. Sending SS to BM isn't an option. I've strongly suggesting that SS needs to spend the summer with BM, but she doesn't have a job, anywhere to live or money so can't take care of her self much less her own child. So I get stuck with SS.

I always have to be the bad guy

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Submitted by Invisible Woman on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 10:24pm

Seems like I can never win when it comes to SS(almost 12). I can't ever be the good cop, always the bad cop. He never lets me do something nice without ending up feeling unappreciated and used.

I'd like for once to have a conflict-free day where we get to have family time that doesn't turn into a battle over getting SS to do something or there isn't problems with his behavior. He can't go along and at least pretend to be happy or just be pleasant. He has to made everything a battle of wills.

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