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Phone wars

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Submitted by Invisible Woman on Sun, 05/27/2012 - 6:26pm

We’ve been having an ongoing battle with SS(11, turns 12 this summer) over the phone and calling BM and BM’s relatives who all live in another country with a 10 hour time difference.

How do other families handle this? SS is with us full time, there’s no phone time in the CO and the time difference makes it so difficult to find a time when everyone is available.

No control

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Submitted by Invisible Woman on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 2:44pm

The biggest source of frustration for me is that I have no control over anything with SS(11). Everything about the way our family functions has been turned upside down, but I have no say, no input, no control over him or BM on things that directly impact my life.

- I have no control over SS’s behavior at all. He doesn’t listen. He’s oblivious to anything. Punishments, consequences, talking to him, nothing works. He does whatever he wants and there’s no way to get him to do anything.

- I have no control over how BM raised SS.

SS got in trouble at school

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Submitted by Invisible Woman on Fri, 05/11/2012 - 3:04pm

Like I need more problems in my life. SS hit a boy in gym class and the boy had to go home with a swollen jaw. The school called and I had to leave work early today to meet with the vice principle. DH had meetings all afternoon and couldn’t leave work but apparently my time and job are less valuable, so I had to go deal with it.

No break

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Submitted by Invisible Woman on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 9:13pm

SS11 lives with us full-time so there's no time away from him and I feel completely dumped on right now. My brother is getting married this weekend and my 9 month old has an ear infection. I don't have time to be dealing with SS and his issues. But work is crazy busy for DH and he can't take time off. So everything falls on me.

I'm not family

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Submitted by Invisible Woman on Sat, 04/28/2012 - 6:38pm

Not that it's unexpected but what SS11's therapist told DH, SS doesn't see me as family. Or DS9mos or DD3. They are halfsibs. We're not his family but his BM's boyfriend is family.

The breakdown is:

BM - family
BM's boyfriend - family
Invisible Woman - not family
DD3, DS9mos - not family
DH - not sure

Apparently he hasn't decided about DH and that's definitely BM's work.

SS snuck off while we were at a restaurant

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Submitted by Invisible Woman on Sat, 04/21/2012 - 4:03pm

I don’t know how to explain this. SS(11)'s behavior is getting more and more bizarre.

To start off with I thought he was getting a little better this week. Or at least I wasn’t as stressed over him. I’ve been trying to not get bent out of shape about his behavior. Not my kid not my problem. Then he does something like this.

Changing a child's name

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Submitted by Invisible Woman on Sat, 04/14/2012 - 12:01pm

DH absolutely hates SS11’s name and would change it in a heartbeat if he could. SS’s first name is practically a girl’s name and his last name is unpronounceable (it’s BM’s name) and DH had no say whatsoever when he was born. Unfortunately, BM has to sign off on on a name change, so here’s no chance that that would happen. His hope is that eventually his son realizes how problematic his name is and asks to have it changed himself.

No clue how to deal with SS

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Submitted by Invisible Woman on Sat, 04/07/2012 - 11:42am

SS(11)’s behavior keeps getting worse and I’m scared what he’ll end up doing next.

His latest antic: sneaking off when my sister is babysitting him and wandering around the neighborhood by himself for no reason. He did it once before a few weeks go, but this week he did it twice and on Thursday he was gone for well over an hour and my sister complete freaked out and nearly called the police. A neighbor found him wandering around three streets away. When asked why he did it or where he was going, he shrugs.

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