MIA
A lot has happened since I was on here last. Our marriage counselor fired us...because of me being on here with a bunch of hateful, bitter women who are doing nothing but helping me stay stuck in proclaiming that I am the victim.
I think I've made a decision. I'll be done student teaching in May of next year. If I can hold on that long, and I get a job...I'm leaving. DH doesn't respect me (if he did, he'd make more of an effort to do something about his kids), and I've lost a lot of respect for him over the last year. It's going to be hard, but I have to do what is best for MY family. I'm tired of my kids being afraid to come home because they don't know what they are going to walk into - that's no way to live, and they deserve better than that.
I appreciate all your support..I don't think that the counselor is right (after all, when she "fired" us, she told DH that she would be glad to see him individually and that he should not let me have any say in who he sees)...you all have helped me through some rough spots, and it's nice to know that I'm not crazy or overly sensitive. Skids, for the most part, are awful.
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Sigh.....oh yes. The old SM's
Sigh.....oh yes. The old SM's should just sit down, shut up and take it theory.
That marriage counselor needs a good kick in the back of the head.
Serious boundary violation on
Serious boundary violation on the part of that counselor. She is clearly taking sides and then to offer to be his therapist after seeing you as a couple? Time to dust off those ethics books I think!
Sorry to hear of your difficulties.
Why is it now considered
Why is it now considered bitterness to dislike people that treat you badly? It used to be considered common sense....
a very weird therapist.You
a very weird therapist.You know, the only thing we can learn from it is to choose our councellors and therapists wisely.Some of them cause more damage than do any good or help.If she wants you not to feel like a victim why is she not helping you and empowering you in the difficult situation instead of dumping you , judging you and finally even offer her 'services" to your husband only.I am not a councellor or other professional , but a blind person could see that she didn't even try to acknowledge what a stepmom, any stepmom, has to go through.
I also dont think that anyone here chooses to be bitter or a victim.We simply share our struggles.And I got a lot of valuable advice that helped me to move forward in the process.I feel I have learned to stand up much more for myself at home, that is not very victim like.I also learned that nearly all of the things we experience are a normal in step families.EG feeling hat it is hard to love the stepkids and seeing that that is a normal thing, helps to forgive yourself for strugging with those feelings and accept it as it is plus rather try to build a friendship than a parent-child relationship.
Wondering if the counselor
Wondering if the counselor was already biased toward DH before you both even started seeing her? Is she affiliated with his occupation in any way? I am getting a feeling of a hugely dysfunctional system around you, I am so sorry for what you are experiencing right now.
If refusing to be a doormat=angry and bitter, then count me in. The old saying is that we teach people how to treat us. I would argue that the Disney Dads are setting their kids up for serious relational issues in adulthood because who else would put up with such a one-sided relationship, no one! Disney Dads are not teaching kids how to be in healthy relationships and the dysfunction will stay with them their entire lives.
I wish for better days for you, hang in there~
Bhahaha! That would be great!
Bhahaha! That would be great! How in the world is this a group of bitter hateful women?? I think that this group has provided more insight than anything else I have tried!