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Why can't SK have his own opinion/want/desire

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Have any of you dealt with  SK that is a good kid in general but manipulated so badly(In my opinion) they genuinely don't know where their own thoughts start and their BM's stop? Or have no thoughts of their own? And if they do dare have a thought or curiousity about something the one parent (in our case HCBM) can strike it down so quickly and completely they don't put up any sort of defense or backbone even if they were adamant about it with the other parent? Worse yet, revise history to the point you think you dreamed a scenario when in fact you know it was said/happened. 

Well its happening - mini pity party below

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Summer with SKs has begun. We haven't seen them since Christmas thanks to Covid. 

SS has made the turn...Its not full fledge PAS but he is so guarded and 100% Mom-centric. There is not an equal parenting respect. Thats not to say he's a bad kid, just acts like DH is a fun uncle he sees once in a while vs. Dad, if that makes sense.

DH has fought for these kids forever. We have made epic trips when money was tight, and valuable vacation time ONLY spent on picking and dropping off and driving half way across the country. 

How do you handle multiple kids - age out visitation?

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I know this probably sounds odd, but I read a lot about SKs failure to Launch.

Those of you that have multiple step kids, and especially those that are far apart from the SKs. How did you handle one aging out and the other still coming for visitation like 6 weeks in the Summer?

Does Disney dad still pay for SKAdult to come (assuming they've failed to launch from BM and no job to hold them in place) or does DH make SkAdult pay own way if he/she wants to come? 

Thanks for any advice/insight you can provide.

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