SD and Thanksgiving
I'm working today, thank goodness, because SD and DH got into it last night. SD is the pickiest eater I've ever met and refused to eat at my dad's house last night besides a small amount of ham, a roll, and pumpkin pie. When we told her to get ready to go, she did but we ended up visiting at least another 20 minutes. She then begins to whine that she's hungry and wants to go home. DH told her that she had every opportunity to eat and she continues to whine that he knows she "doesn't like Thanksgiving" (food) and he said that he cared when she was 6, but at 13, she can eat what's offered to her or not eat.
My stepmom stepped in, telling DH that SD is just tired and to take her home then proceeded to tell everyone "ILD was JUST LIKE YOU at your age" pretty much calling me a brat to everyone. As a side note, my SM was an ass all night and was totally miffed at my dad's blessing over the food that he pretty much only mentioned my pregnancy and how grateful he is for our new addition. Before this incident, she hid upstairs and when she finally came down after she thought we left, she sat there drinking her wine and scoffing at everything we said and once made a comment to DH that "you should hear what J (my dad) has said about YOU" (in the past). DH told her that he doesn't care what anyone says about him. I wish I'd have told her how rude she was being but I was just tired and ready to go.
ANYWAY, DH told SD she could make mac n cheese when we got home since she was soooo hungry. She proceeded to whine saying she always burns herself when making it and it's soooo boring to wait 11 minutes for the noodles to boil. Then she acted like she didn't understand the instructions on the box and DH lost his sh!t and sent her to her room after taking her phone away and told her that she can go to bed hungry because she was being such a baby and he was pissed that she made such a scene about cooking food for herself because she refused to eat when the rest of the family did.
He is going to "talk" to her today and she is not allowed her phone back and has all day to get chores done. She also asked to go to an event with her friend in 2 weeks and that's not happening anymore. I think DH is FINALLY done with the enabling and was very upset with the way she spoke to him last night and overall how she treats everyone in her life. I hope this makes a change for the better but it's obvious she thinks arguing with adults is an option and we know BM allows it. I told DH it'll never change because SD has the "I'll just be with the other parent" attitude when she goes between houses.
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This is a power play.
SD want to control your family life, to be about only SD. She will always trow a fit if thing go your way because her way always different then your way, Don’t want to be in your home when baby comes, and baby becomes number one. She will either not come over, or be up your DH a** all the time, takeing him away from you and baby.
It is time to put this kid in her place. No if ans or buts. Have fun
I hope he backs up his "talk"
I hope he backs up his "talk" with punishment, otherwise he's wasting his breath. Pop lots of popcorn for the show.
BRAVO for your DH. I think
BRAVO for your DH. I think you guys will notice big changes, if only at least in your marriage relations, if he continues on this path. It takes consistency, and consistency is hard work, we all know, but it sounds like he’s inching in the right direction at least!
And damn. That comment out of your SM regarding you when you were younger. I hate that kind of stuff and it serves no one well. One of the very rare times I legit saw my DH fuming out of his ears was when his own mother made a comment to skid along the lines of “When your dad was young, he did X, Y, and Z.” Skid then proceeded to CALL DH on the phone and laugh at him, telling him what his mom said.
You are aware of what that is, right? It’s belittling behavior. I would have called your SM out on that BS right then and there. In fact, it’s not too late. I wouldn’t let that slide, because that should never happen again.
Good for DH, but be prepared
Good for DH, but be prepared for what's next: BM saying SD "doesn't want" to come over anymore, and since there is no CO in place, there will be no way to enforce it.
What foods are you serving at
What foods are you serving at your baby shower? I hope SD doesn't attempt grabbing attend by doing 'you know I hate baby shower food'.
Little brat. She got ham and a dinner roll with a piece of pie. I'm sure she could have put some more ham and a couple rolls in a baggie and tken them home for her evening meal (yum, love fresh ham on dinner rolls as left overs). I'd be good with ham and bread being all she ate... as long as she kept her mouth shut on her opinions of the other foods served and gushed to her host/hostess as to how wonerful the meal was and thank-you very much for having me for the meal.
I hope your SM is feeling friendly by Saturday. I assume she's invited to the shower. Maybe your Dad has been a pain at home lately and whatever was going on had little to do with you, baby et.
Took SD's phone away and sent her to bed 'starving' .... lol, whwere did this guy come from?
Boring to wait 11 mintues.... she is full of herself.
This too.
This too.
Mmmmm. Thanksgiving food, especially leftovers, are my favorite.
I would have probably embarrassed SD by pointing out her first world problems “not liking Thanksgiving food.”
Skid eats like this too. So freaking picky. If it’s not Mac & Cheese, bread, cheese, or fast food, she’s making a huge public stink about it. Other than the embarrassment and disrespect for the people who made the food - I can care less if Skid eats, like ever. Not... my... problem. LOL
To everyone: my SM and I do
To everyone: my SM and I do not have a positive relationship and merely tolerate each other but if she makes a scene tomorrow, she WILL be asked to leave. Also, I told DH to be prepared for SD to cry to BM and not want to come over anymore. He said fine, that he is done with the attitude and she can cry to BM if she wants. He said she hasn't come out of her room all day so so much for that "talk". He expects an apology so I hope he isn't holding his breath..
That would be a good idea,
That would be a good idea, because another family/life event, such as a baby shower, is a prime opportunity for your SM to pull some epic BS in an attempt to crap all over your special day.
I’d maybe enlist DH and/or a couple close friends to keep an eye on her, so you don’t have to, who have zero qualms showing her the door.
No apology, no shower I would
No apology, no shower I would say. No cake either little brat! Did daddy explain why she needed to apologize and expectations for good manners and behavior? I know men have trouble spelling things out, and that you need to do that with kids so if he failed to communicate that to her, then she really isn't getting parented IMO.
Of course after having 4 BD and 2SDs, I know how girls can be. Its a power struggle for parents.
He's still pissed at her and
He's still pissed at her and I don't think said anything to her but did get her a breakfast burrito when we have a ton of good food at the house so that annoys me. She also waited until the very last minute to ready yesterday despite being told to do so hours before we had to leave, almost making us late to pick my aunt up from the airport on the way to my dad's.
My SD sounds like yours!
Oh my goodness, I witnessed this tonight! My DH told SD that we would not be going out for breakfast Sunday morning or eating out at all that day because of how she treated us tonight, but she just came back at him with “well, I'm supposed to be meeting my mom....etc.” and proceeded to mumble more things under her breath about being with her mom.
I stumbled upon this site after Googling ways to deal with my stepdaughter. Part of me feels awful for the way I feel, but after reading some of your posts, it’s good to know I’m not crazy with how I feel.
I hope everything goes well with your DH putting his foot down and with the baby shower! My SD was at the shower my Mother threw for me (we had to drive 2 hrs - just the two of us - to get there) and she was golden!