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FSS cries when asked to play independently?

HolyShootskey's picture

He is almost six and cannot entertain himself. He got home at 4:30 tonight. FDH needed to finish up some paperwork. I got him set up with a matchbox car racetrack and came down to do dinner/read. He was playing, but when I went up to take out my contacts around 5:30 he was lying in bed sobbing. When I asked why he said what he always says "I don't want to be alone." I explained to him that we were right downstairs and both doing some stuff and couldn't play that second. He said " but you never do anything with me." (Not true by the way. We went to a sporting event Friday night, a bowling bday party Saturday and MIL's for dinner Sunday and we took turns reading outloud during school nights this week.) When I asked him what he does at his mom's he said "watch his brother play video games or play video games". He will sit all day and watch t.v. or play on the iPad, but can't play alone. I don't get it. We do a lot of stuff together and eat dinner together every night. His mom has BPD and I wonder if he isn't developing so codependency issues. She left him from 18 months until 2 1/2, so I don't know if he developed some issues from that... He is over to his mom's every other week still. I am a total introvert so I am having a hard time understanding him.

Comments

BethAnne's picture

I am not sure I agree with this. My SD did go through a stage of crying whenever she didn't get her way and if we told her that she couldn't play with her she would burst into tears. Now this was more of a play to get sympathy and get her way and we soon sorted it out by helping her think through alternative things she could do rather than cry and also putting her in time out if she cried for not getting her way.

Here the boy is crying on his own in his bedroom, he isn't trying to get sympathy or manipulate things to get his own way as far as I can tell.

Maybe there is more to this than him feeling that noone does anything with him?

No saint's picture

My 7 year old SS never ever wants to be alone, even while watching TV. He does not play, eat or does tasks alone. When he's with us we don't have "a life". My DH actually likes it. Sad

MissElphaba's picture

I agree with some posts above - is it possible that he could play in the same/adjacent room you or DH is in? Maybe he would be more likely to play on his own that way. It wouldn't really bother me as long as I could still get things done.