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Sleep deprived or am I actually right here!?!?

Hellohell11's picture

Submitted by Hellohell11 on Sat, 09/01/2018 - 12:36am

AM I WRONG!? AM I GOING CRAZY!?

 

Mine and DH baby is now 3 months old I’m not working so I get up with him in the middle of the night during the week so he can sleep for work and he’s “supposed to wake up on the weekends (fri-sun) but it seems more weekends than others I’m still getting up with the baby because he falls asleep in SD room or out on the couch with her? And can’t hear the baby wake up and it defeats the WHOLE purpose if I have to wake up to go downstairs and get him up I don’t think its very fair I’ve brought it up to him and he just brushes it off and says sorry, and on the days SD Isn’t with us he feeds him maybe twice and changes a diaper or two but when she’s here he has him more in the day? Is that even a reason to be mad or am I just crazy?  I don’t know the way I see it is the world doesn’t stop because SD isn’t here I still need some damn help ARGHHHH 

Comments

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Sat, 09/01/2018 - 1:41pm

You are both right and sleep deprived. The next time it comes up and his only response is "sorry" call him out on it. Tell him, "'Sorry' is a term that is usually followed up with an effort to change....this is 3 months in of 'Sorry,' -either step up or admit you never intended on helping me during this newborn stage, at least that would make this easier because I will know not to count on you." ---Is that a bit harsh? Sure, but in the newborn-first 6 months, you are running on fumes and your body is trying to get its self back together. He should help. I would move the baby in his spot since hes on the couch anyway.

marblefawn's picture

Submitted by marblefawn on Sat, 09/01/2018 - 2:48pm

Before calling him out on it, I'd remind him of exactly what NOT to do...sweetly. Like if you're leaning in to kiss him goodnight, thank him for being "on call" so you can sleep in, tell him you "soooooo appreciate it, sweetie,...and don't forget -- you can't hear the baby if you're out of baby range, so be sure you get to bed tonight, honey, and don't sleep on the couch." Yes, it's BS that you must remind him to do something he agreed to do. But you just need him to do it so try this before raising the roof because, you know, while raising the roof can get the job done quickly, it also causes other issues in many cases. Like the silent treatment or him doing it a few times and then dropping off because he resents that you demanding he do something he agreed to do. And don't even mention SD -- just tell him he needs to be in bed to hear the baby. Trust, sister!

sunshinex's picture

Submitted by sunshinex on Sat, 09/01/2018 - 5:31pm

This is a safety issue as much as it’s a parenting issue. One person can only do so much when exhausted before something bad happens. I did all the night wake ups because “DH works!” until 4 months old when I was so so so tired and dropped baby accidentally.

I didn’t even realize it happened until I heard screaming. I couldn’t forgive myself for the longest time. DH stepped it up that very night - taking the baby for a couple hours while I slept. I’m breastfeeding so I have to do most of the work at night but he helps no questions asked now.