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Helena.Handbasket's Blog

Dear disengagement, I love you

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Yes, I do profess love for my actions. Disengaging has done wonders for me. I sit back and giggle when I hear things now that would frustrate me, even anger me so much in the past.

Tonight we picked up SS13. He just spent a week with BM and family (stepdad, stepbrothers (16 and 18) and his sister - SD16). I sit there and say nothing. I listen to SO and SS13. SS13 says sorry he knows its annoying, but he just had to vent about them all. He said he felt like an outsider surrounded by stupid people. He felt picked on and different from all of them including SD16.

Funny, another instance of SS saying what I think

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SO took SS13 summer clothes shopping today. SO was discussing how he's going to limit SD16's spending and she won't need as much. Actually his words were, "I'm going to try..."

SS13 says, dad don't let her spend so much. She gets crap she doesn't need and sometime doesn't even wear. All she has to say to you is "That would be nice to have and you buy it. But she has so much stuff she doesn't wear or use."

Disengaging still rewarding

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I am rewarded for my disengagement.

Last night when I got home, I was aggravated. SO is sleeping at the foot of SD16s bed. She is sitting up watching tv. I guess they started out talking, but after a long day, sometimes SO just hits his limit. He laid down and went to sleep. I would have preferred he go to his own bed (our bed) for that. I will also say that I realize I wouldn't be as annoyed if he were in SS's room playing video games. I just really think its weird he lays on SD's bed.

More annoying SD16

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Just a record keeping note at this point to validate my disengaging.

SO has been actually workng on house projects instead of just making everything about the kids all the time while they are here. Kinda surprising. However, this makes SD 16 go into attention seeking mode.

trying no to freak out: UPDATED$ BM came in to my house

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I left work to drop ss off at gym. He informs me bm is on her way in to city to drop off sd to my house. We have an ultrasound to be at in 10 min. I called SO and he sounded aggravated. Said he was going to tell sd to have her mom drop her off at gym with ss.

I am trying to remain calm but i dont want that bitch at my house knowing no one is home.

===============
Yep, in the middle of the ultrasound, the bitch is in my fucking house.

The inept parenting is laughable

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Except that its so sad too.

So many of you can commiserate.

SD16 texted daddykins yesterday to tell him she got an iphone. Her progress report had 2 F's. Report cards are out now. SO literally shoves SS13s in my face the other day to show me how well he did. I have her squat about SD's and I don't care to ask. I'm sure she brought her F's to C's just so she doesn't have to make up those classes (how she always does, minimalist).

CS ending sooner?

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It just occurred to me the other day, CS for SO will probably end soon.

SD16 will be graduating HS in two years (at least we hope). Its doubtful she'll go to college. MAYBE a tech school. SS13 will likely come live with us in a year. So SO could be done paying CS sooner than he had thought.

The only annoying thing is that with SS potentially coming here, BM will be in more contact with SO about SS (and whatever else she wants to chit chat about). That will get on my nerves more than money ever would. I hate her face.

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