I am rewarded for my disengagement.

Last night when I got home, I was aggravated. SO is sleeping at the foot of SD16s bed. She is sitting up watching tv. I guess they started out talking, but after a long day, sometimes SO just hits his limit. He laid down and went to sleep. I would have preferred he go to his own bed (our bed) for that. I will also say that I realize I wouldn't be as annoyed if he were in SS's room playing video games. I just really think its weird he lays on SD's bed.

After about an hour, I was too annoyed so I decided to leave. I did not make dinner either even though SO was expecting it. I didn't say a word. I headed to a friend's house. He calls me about a half hour after I left to ask where I was. I said at friend's house. He sounded annoyed. I didn't care. He says I'm taking the kids to dinner. Me, Ok see you later.

No he didn't offer to pick me up anything or ask me to go. I would expect as much from him. He has been running himself ragged all week trying to entertain plus do housework plus go to work. Disney dad trying to keep up with responsibilities while catering, that's hard.

So, about 10pm he still isn't home. I called to say good night going to bed (acting nonchalant). In other words, don't be loud when you come home. He starts telling me how they stayed at the place to watch a sports game (oh yay family time without HH, as usual). Maybe its my preg hormones, but I hung up on him. He texted and I said we got disconnected I guess. He texted to tell me he is stopping to get the kids movies for the night and how tired he is. I just said, ok, night and we have an appt tomorrow.

Today we grabbed lunch and he begins to complain about SD16. The following came from him

SO: "I know SD16 wants to come here to visit and everything, but she doesn't do anything when she's here. She just sits in her room bored."
Me: Well, maybe that's why she comes here for the option to do nothing and she can just sleep and watch tv. Although, I did take SS to the gym this morning if she is bored she can get up when he and I do and I can drop her off as well"
SO: "yeah she asked me the other day when I took SS to the gym, why I didn't wake her up. I told her that I've already talked to her about being responsible for herself and that I'm not waking her up. I told her the night before I was leaving at 10am, if she wanted to go be ready. She wasn't. so SS and I left. She just said "oh""
Me: Well I guess that's all you can do. --- then in order to get him to tell me about her new phone that I already know about by reading his text messages i say-- Does she have her phone, maybe she didn't have it so she couldn't set an alarm?
SO: No, she has a new phone (in a very annoyed tone of voice).
Me: Oh, well then she'll go if she wants to.

SO: "SD didn't really do anything at dinner last night. She didn't talk much. The whole night was mainly me and SS13 discussing sports and she just sat there texting her friends the whole 2 hours"
Me: "oh" then subject change to what I did last night"

I will give him kudos for something else. He said SD asked if he would take them out to dinner, but he actually said "HH has already planned dinner so we will eat at home. Its not nice for someone to expect people for dinner then not stay"

So I kinda feel bad for not doing dinner, because he had good intentions.

I just told him Sorry about that. My schedule was all off yesterday since I worked late and I'm exhausted. I will be cooking dinner tonight. He really should get rewarded for that one. It surprised me and I expressed to him that I appreciated that.

All in all, he spends time with SD, he is just disappointed with her and by disengaging, I am allowing that experience for him.