I'm an idiot
So... we just finished having a really crappy week with the kids.. my son, and his son. AND I was really looking forward to a week of peace (doesn't help that my daugther is getting her molars..so I'm also working on miniscule sleep)... so what do I do? Well I hear that SS's mother is away on business next week until Thursday, and I think to myself again??? She is always sooo busy? I mean she's got 4 kids and she never see's them. Luckily for her they are from 4 different dads..so guess she can farm them out whenever... but anyways... Ok..so I hear this.. and then I realize SS will be spending time with this Stepdad all week, but you see Step Dad openly doesn't like him. So I say, "That is sad, perhaps he should stay with us then if she's not even going to be around"... well my DH never listens to me..but he did this time... so now I have my SS until Thursday. I sound terrible to be so bummed about it.. but he is soo much extra work.. creates so much drama...and seriously some days (most days) I'm completely sick of him... What did I do??? Time for me to plan a girls weekend away I think... I'm in serious need of a break.
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man..that sounds all to
man..that sounds all to familer. i get my skids on the weekends and the weekends my husband works they are not to come over till he is home. well, bm is always leaving them with her boyfriend. it's b/c of that my time alone gets ruined. they do not like her boyfriend and my husband is always saying that they'd be better off with me. thats probably true but they drive me crazy. i hate the "being nice" act. it wierd how they drive me nuts but i'm still concerned and worried about there well being. unfortunatly, i dont really think it's anything we can do. i think we just need to set it in our heads to conitnue to be the better people whether the skids drive us nuts or not. i hear a lot of people on here pulling the "bitch" approch but what does that really do? is that really the best approach in the long run? i say definatly get that alone/girl time for sure...take a breather away from it all. wish i had better advice..hope it gets better!
Sister in arms
Yeah, doing this too. I hate the act as well. The sugary smile that drops off your face the minute you turn around, the grudging acts of kindness that you don't really mean but hell, he/she is just a kid. I don't know about you, but it is the situation with the BM and live in/already married/baby daddy boyfriend that has nearly made me shoot myself. But who gets to suffer? The skids. And I hate that too.
Sure they would be better off with you. And should we try to help kids, any kids, when we can? Yeah. And in a perfect world chocolate would drip from our ceilings and never stain the white carpet. Too many times we get caught up in trying to be the good person but meanwhile, no one is looking out for us.
For me, I consider the fact that the BM married/is dating this loser. Is making yourself miserable for a few days going to change the way the SD acts? Hell no. If SS stays there with SD will he be shocked to find that SD doesn't like him? NO. Is it really in the best interest of the SS for the BF to "force" him on you so that you can then be angry and resentful and thus treat the SS worse than you would if you were being taken care of? That's kinda rambly, I know, but the point is that you have to be taken care of first, first by yourself and then with the support of your DH. Then you can, hopefully, if not enjoy your SS at least feel better and calmer when he is there.
Maybe you could bring some of these points up with DH and see if that helps him figure out that being on your side doesn't automatically make him against SS. Hope this helps in some way, you have my sympathy and support.