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Ah well

HeatherM's picture

Submitted by HeatherM on Sun, 07/25/2010 - 5:49pm

Just going about my day, doing some laundry, enjoying the day...trip to the waterpark, steaks marinating for a BBQ, Movie with hubby later....then phone rings.. ss8 wants to come over early... it's amazing how that one little thing changes my entire moood... I thought I had one more day to not feel alientated and used in my own home... I guess I'm wrong.

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Tx mommy of 3's picture

Submitted by Tx mommy of 3 on Sun, 07/25/2010 - 5:53pm

Yuck. Luckily we go strictly by the decree on visitation. We have to otherwise bm takes advantage. I'd suggest that in the future or even now if it's not too late. Of course we don't have custody and my ss would never want to stay longer than he had to with us!

3stormsanger's picture

Submitted by 3stormsanger on Sun, 07/25/2010 - 6:10pm

Hi HeatherM,
Grrr second time to write this, I feel exactly how you feel. i have x2 sd. they live with us full time, so i have to accept that they are a part of the house etc. BUT, like mommy of 3 stated visitation is visitation. if they coming back friday, friday they come back,. no sooner, that the rules, otherwise they will learn to manipulate the situation and get what they want. i know the feeling in the pit of your stomach when you know they are "on there way home" or just pulled up. i honestly do, sometimes i even need a drink. it sux.

i hope you still went to water park and had the steak, and watched the movie. can you explain to your man, you were looking forward to spending some time with him?

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Sun, 07/25/2010 - 7:20pm

DH let BM walk all over him with visitation. Whether we had plans or not, DH always let BM bring SS back or pick SS up whenever she wanted to. Its ridiculous. I know most BM's would flip if DH's brought the child back too early.

HeatherM's picture

Submitted by HeatherM on Sun, 07/25/2010 - 8:00pm

The thing with my DH is.... it's like a competition of sorts between him and BM. We have 'loose' visitation...technically the split is 50/50, but there is nothing legal in writing as BM was just the girlfriend... anyhoo... we have him about 70% of the time...and well...as far as the competition bit goes... DH looks proud as a peacock when SS wants to be with him instead of BM... it's dumb..but whatever..

We did what we planned... movie will come later once our toddler is in bed... SS will show up eat dessert..watch tv..and go to bed.. so I don't know why I stress..I just do... it's like I feel like I don't belong here when he's here... He creates so much extra work for me from laundry, to food, to chauffering him around.....sometimes I just DON'T look forward to these weeks...!

Thanks ladies for your responses... it's nice to know people out there are in the same boat!

Tx mommy of 3's picture

Submitted by Tx mommy of 3 on Mon, 07/26/2010 - 2:39am

OMG! I feelthe same way sometimes. My ss only comes eow and this summer we've had extennnnnnded visits. (well, seems that extended to me!) anyway, when he's here I feel like it's not my house. He sleeps in the livingroom because he can stay up watching tv. So I feel sometimes I have to tip toe around him. I can't watch tv while doing laundry because he's in the living room. DH and I also have 3 young ones together but I can atleast keep my house straightned. It's amazing how much ONE kid can add. My house never stays picked up and at the end of the day i'mexhausted! Just the extra energy it takes to put on a fake smile I guess!