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I had to laugh a little

HeatherM's picture

Submitted by HeatherM on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 9:05am

I was out last night with some of the girls in my office, most of them are younger than I am... still enjoying their lives of singledom etc... I'm their bosses boss, so often times they don't open up to me, but after a few glasses of vino...they opened up.. and wow! I guess it's generation Y or something, but a lot of them do not want kids.. Hey I get this.. I understand this 100%, but then they say... that their plan is to marry a man with a child already, then they don't have to have one!!!!! I almost fell off my chair... ! I told them if they wanted to commit a slow suicide then that is what they should do. They just had NO idea. When I went into detail about how much fun it is to be a stepmother.. I saw some of them thinking... hmmmm..

Anyways... thought I'd share that! I have to set these poor girls straight!

So I'm a little peevy about something else too... My husband does home renovations...so he is usually gone very early in the morning, and comes home late at night. It's very difficult to schedule anything that involves him, or that I require him for because he cannot change his schedule...EVER. HOWEVER, when poopsie woopsie asks him to do something...he has NO problem changing his schedule... This is very very irritating to me. I mean I have to schedule doctors appts, work appts, kid appts, all around his schedule..and all it takes is for SS8 to say "Dada I want you to take me to school tomorrow for my first day"..and he's like "Sure poopsie woopsie...I'm there"..! I guess I should be oo'ing and awww'ing over how nice it is for him as a father to do this..but seriously? It's not like it's his first day of school EVER..he's in grade 2, and all my DH will do is drive him there, and then SS will play with his friends.. the bell will ring and then SS will go inside, then DH will go to work. I mean I need him for IMPORTANT things, and he can't do that... ahhhhh ! Sorry just frustrated..and probably a little tired from my 'night out' with the girls!

Comments

kat27's picture

Submitted by kat27 on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 9:19am

made me wish desperately i had known you a couple of years ago. before i started dating a divorced man with two children by two different mothers. everyone told me NOT to do it and that it was a bad idea, but nobody could give me any reason WHY is it was a bad idea. if i had known then what i know now...before we moved in together and invested emotionally blah blah blah. i'm having a bad day...tired of fighting a losing battle from his trust and commitment issues from the exes that cheated on him...and then the kid issues. dealing with two BM's???? who are fighting for control against each other and me???? my god. i think it's time to put the marriage talks on the back burner and seriously re-evaluate.

JMC's picture

Submitted by JMC on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 9:27am

JamaicanMeCrazy
LIVE LOVE LAUGH

those young ladies straight and that they actually remember your advice when/if the time comes ~ oh wow!! I can't even imagine being their ages and wanting to marry a guy who already has kids - that's just crazy! I often question my sanity about marrying a guy with kids (as alot of us on ST do)and I was a lot older. OMG!

I guess I'm fortunate that DH no longer jumps when SD's yell frog - he's a major procrastinator on everything - which is good on some things, other times it drives me nuts!

JMC's picture

Submitted by JMC on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 9:51am

JamaicanMeCrazy
LIVE LOVE LAUGH

I openly admit to wishing my SD's to have to deal with skids in the future. Although things are better (right now anyway) with SD18 and she finally admitted that she's given me a lot of grief, I don't think she really knows just how close I came to walking out on DH because of her antics and his defense of them. It's not that I'm wishing her a bad life, but like you said Step Aside, I believe most unruly skids need a dose of what they've been dishing out to appreciate the good. As for SD22, I don't know what's in store for her - she's pregnant (*our* first grandchild due in December)and I hope she's ready for the sacrifices she and her husband are going to have to make for this baby.

Hanny's picture

Submitted by Hanny on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 9:49am

does the same thing. He does work on the side at home and it seems like when he has a job he never does it on the weekends he has his daughter, but works late every night during the week (which is when we spend time together) and the 1 weekend a month that he does not have his daughter, and the 1 weekend we get to spend together. Yes, irritates me too, but what can I say? We aren't married and do not live together so there is only so much I can do about it. I know he needs the extra money and need the extra work, but does it always have to be on my time, and as you say never when poopsie whoopsie's with him?

jojo71's picture

Submitted by jojo71 on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:13am

Ok - I'm embarrassed to say this (well obviously not TOO embarrassed...I AM posting it on a public message board lol) but....I met FH on a dating website. Mind you, this wasn't a regular dating site...this was a dating site for PARENTS ONLY. lol So stupid ME...I actually went LOOKING for a man with children....DUH.

I'm totally erasing this post in a little bit. lol

Casper3's picture

Submitted by Casper3 on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:20am

You just made me giggle. Biggrin

jojo71's picture

Submitted by jojo71 on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:49am

I guess you can't edit posts after someone replies to them. LOL

kat27's picture

Submitted by kat27 on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 11:51am

Smile when i read that i laughed so hard! first time i i had a real laugh in a couple of days! thank you so much!!

LONGTIME SM's picture

Submitted by LONGTIME SM on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 11:58am

My selfish grown SS (35) dated a nice young woman (mid 20s) that had a darling little girl (4). It did not change him one bit and never expanded his understanding; instead, it seemed to just give him an excuse to be mean! You would have thought that he would have tried to be at least kind to the child but he treated her as though she were a pest - which she was not. The little girl was better behaved than my own step grandchildren and was as sweet as she could be. He did not spend as much time with her as he did with his nieces. Presents that I bought for this little girl for Christmas and Easter were not delivered to the mother of the child or to the child. He took items that I had bought for this little girl and gave them to my step grandchildren - his neices! I could not get over how cruel for this little girl to be excluded in this manner especially since I had purchased the exact same items for all of them! He was never treated in this manner by me his stepmother or by his father! One would have thought that he would have had some empathy for the little girl since she was a product of divorce at a young age just like he was but no....