I think if you feel this way it is better for you to just keep your distance as you have been. I think kids pick up on our negative feelings...I know my SD did...and it's probably better to just disengage if you're feeling negative vs. adding to the situation.

You feel the way you feel for a reason and just because SS has suddenly made a complete turnaround (which, of course, is subjective) it doesn't mean your feelings will automatically change. Maybe SS HAS changed but your husband should understand that it is going to take time for your resentment to go away. I really believe kids grow up to be bratty because they weren't taught to be otherwise and so, since your husband is at least partly to blame for SS's behavior, he should be patient with you and give you time to recover.

Take care of you. If it is easier to be away, then do something for yourself, make some extra money, visit some friends, watch a DVD when SS is around. You got married because you wanted to be your husband's wife not a stepmother, right? I *thought* I wanted to be a stepmom but now, after all the BS, I just would like to have a relationship and a civil acquaintence type relationship with someone's children. Of course, had my situation been different, I think I would have been different, so maybe if I met someone who had a more normal child I would want to be more involved...

Tough one! It's just that sort of thing that keeps me from marrying BF. How do you get back past the part where his kids shit on you and he thinks they're so perfect. The skids do not see any need to change. The pressure to do so is all on us! After all, the the two faced evil beings are just precious children!

If DH thinks SS has completely changed, then maybe SS is ready for DH to remind him that he owes an apology to you for being such a little shit. Does SS want "another chance"? Chance for what?

Honestly, if it's meant to be it is and if not you can't FORCE it. Don't feel bad or be too hard on yourself that you don't mesh with the kid but also try to realize that he IS just a kid. You honestly just need to do what's best for you. Be civil to him when you have to be around him otherwise do what YOU need to do. Accept the fact that it's okay for you to not like him but think of a way that you can comfortably coexist with him. I think if you just do that you will feel MUCH better about the situation. I have a similar situation and I have found that just admitting to myself that I don't like my SD9's attitude (she's pretty selfish since she was first the baby of the family and then an only child for awhile) she can't even hold on to friendships because of how she treats people, instead of allowing her to suck my happiness out of me I am civil to her and I even try to help her see what she's doing to people but in the end she doesn't listen and so mostly I do my own thing and she does hers and we live together full time and I am home alone with her while her dad's at work. My DH knows what's going on and he's completely supportive and he and I have the understanding that as long she's obeying me while he's at work, she and I don't NEED to be the best of friends. All he ASKS is that we coexist and it works. I hope this helps. I understand where you're coming from and can sympathize.

Good words,Maux.