I think we're in for some trouble...
My BF's ex is breaking up with her BF. She and 2 skids have lived with him for 5 years. Ever since my BF said he wasn't going to pay the mortgage any longer...she moved in with the guy she cheated with. She hasn't had to pay rent for all that time...don't know for sure what arragnement was...but sure no rent. Now he has asked her and girls to move out...I guess they got some counseling, he blames her for his son moving out. The woman's a bitch and she got in a fight with his son (17) and he left a month or so ago. Anyway...how does this affect my BF and ME. Well, you all know that when a BM isn't happy...no one is. She's already asking for extra money...and laying a big trip on him about how this will affect 'the girls'. They are 14 (9th grade) and 19 (second year of college). She has always enabled the girls, 19 year old has never had to work. Mom has given them everything. And she could, because she works has a pretty good job, and hasn't had to pay rent UNTIL now. I think she will finally find out what 'the real world' is like. And Unfortunately so will the girls. And I'm not sure how she will react to HER not having a BF and him having a GF. We've never been through that one, since she's been with this guy from day 1. The girls have always gone to private schools, against my BF's wishes because they have never been able to really afford it, even when they were together. He doesn't pay CS for the oldest anymore, and what he pays for 14 year old doesn't even cover private school. I'm pretty sure she will play the private school trump card soon, that skid will have to leave all her friends and not be able to go to private if he doesn't fork up more money. She pulling 2 F's and one D right now anyway...is totally only interest in socializing and not doing any work. Anyway...it's going to be a bumpy ride.
Thanks for listening.
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Comments
Wow, I know what
you mean about BM problems, as I've had more than my fair share of them! I would advise BF to stick to the arrangement that is ordered and be done with it. If she created this problem, I say she find a solution to it.
I know what you mean too
ss's Bm is getting ready to finally move away from her live-in ex after being living with him for I guess around 6years.
I'm waiting and watching to see how that all plays out.
Dawn
Yes, that reality thing
is a beyotch!! please keep us posted!
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
Your BF is about to gain a whole lot of control IHMO.
Now that the XW has to support herself your BF will likely get a whole lot more leverage in the situation.
I recommend that he stick as closely as possible to the Custody/Visitation/Support judgement because it is likely that the XW/BM is about to get really obtuse about her life and her perceived entitlement from your BF.
With only one child remaining in the CS picture his CS obligation will likely not be increasing significantly. I would for sure obtain a copy of the SD (14) grades and be ready to show that the "private school" tuition has not paid off so far. Supporting her entire costs is not his sole responsibility it is the responsibility of your BF and his XW jointly
Hopefully he can keep the XW 50% accountable for SD 14 costs.
Good luck and best regards,
I agree with Sia and Rags
Hopefully your BF will stick to his guns. She will more than likly do the whole poor me thing, then if he doesn't give in to that she will become angry. I'm not trying to scare you, i've just been though this a couple of times when my skids BM split with one of her bf.
It will all come down to your BF and if he can stick to his guns. She could turn very ugly but hopefully you and BF can stick together and to the plan as it's been.
All the best hun.
I think you're right
I think when bm's have trouble at home, the first thing they do is start trouble in our lives. Like, our bm has been pretty fairly under control since October when I went psycho on her(justifiably though). But now that things with the cryptkeeper are waning, she's buying xmas gifts for H from the boys (supposedly) and trying to be way way nicer to us all. But it's just a scam...she obviously wants something from us...my H perhaps, or to irritate me, or just something. I know she's not being nicer out of the goodness of her little troll heart.
Keep your guard up girl because it sounds like you might have some trouble coming your way now too.
I don't think CS
would change even if she took him to court, because when they first got divorced and everything was put in the disomaster (or whatever that equation is called in CA) she was only working part time and not making as much as she is now (she got her degree and got a full time better job)and she has always said she paid her BF rent, even though we knew she didn't. My BF, of course, doesn't know how much she makes. She is always threatening to take him back to court, and he has always said, I'm ready...and of course, she's never done it because she knows she probably won't get any more...because if she thought she could...she'd have him in court tomorrow. All she's asked for so far is an advance on her CS. Guess she's finding out how much it costs to rent an apartment, deposits, moving expenses and all.
Thanks all for your input.
Tell her to pound sand
Tell you BF not to give her an extra penny. I hope the CS he does pay is going through the court and he is not paying her directly. He is responsbile for the 14 year old not the BM. If he wants to help the 19 yr old with college expenses, etc that is at his discretion. She won't take him to court because I'm sure she knows she will not be able to get any more money out of him. This is what happens when the BMs don't have any one in their lives!