Now that we have FC, BM doesn't pay near what DH paid when they had 50/50. It's not fair I suppose, but since we paid for most everything then plus 500 a month to BM, and had SD 4 nights out of 7 (every weekend) getting 365 from her is a 865 swing for us now. That's quite a bit for us to gain. (I'm sure it was even more for her to lose, plus all those court/atty fees for a year of custody case.)

So now we pay everything like we did before, but now BM actually has to contribute some.

Honestly, when we went through that case I would have been happy for us to simply not have to pay. But having seen others on this site who's DH's were nice enough not to collect from their kids' BMs, only to have BM sprint to CS faster than a fly on poo when the kids went to stay with her again. So it's good we're getting it now, just because you never know what the future holds.

My ex only pays 200 a month for both boys. I got ripped off. His W mentioned to me once he felt bad he was only paying for one. I didn't realize he was (we went through one atty, who was technically representing him.) At the time when the atty did the formula for CS he listed 168. I am thinking now that it was supposed to be that PER KID, but I thought it was for both. So when ExH offered 200, I thought he was being generous!

I wouldn't trade the money for the relationship we have now. I think once he watched his W go through being ripped off by one of her exs hiding money to pay less CS he grew a conscious

I don't think the CS agency considers it just for one kid though, so it should continue past BS 13 for BS 11, even though BS 13 is the one I get the deduction for and he takes BS 11 (another thing they slid right past me of course. When they're 2 and 5 you don't really think about those kind of things.) I took such a beating in the financial settlement, that the judge didn't want to grant the divorce and asked for a continuance so I could get my own atty. I declined.

I wanted to say, "WHERE do I sign?????"

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra

I get CS from 2 fathers - my ex husband for BD7 and my college boyfriend for BS16. I think I get a good amount from both. BS16's father rarely sees him and does pay for his health insurance which I can't always use since he put the wrong birthdate for our son. He is still angry that I not we got pregnant. Sorry BS is way to big to go back to where he came from. When his CS started, I got about $70 a month - he was in college and only worked part-time in retail. He has been in roofing for a good number of years and it has gone up several times over the years to the current $712. I have requested a review every 2 years and got a raise every time. I feel that if he won't spend time with our son he can pay me more so I can provide our son with activities that include men so he learned to be a good man from other males. I offered 12 years ago not ask for raises if he spent time with his son regularly - never happened. He could have saved himself a whole lot of cash - we live less than 5 miles apart.

My BD7's father pays a little under $500 a month and pays for insurance when he has it offered at work. He has changed jobs so many times over the past 7 years that I have really never used the insurance he buys because he never gets me the insurance cards. I am happy with the amount and we have an agreement that he provides her clothing while she is with him since whatever I used to send when she was a baby came back ruined, stained, didn't come back at all (he lost her bonnet in a 2 hour visit and lost her sandles ($15) another time and his mom replaced them with $2 flip flops for a 3 year old) or wreaking of cigarette smoke. I know my EH feels he pays way too much CS but I don't. He has gotten behind all but 2 of the past 7 years that he could have claimed our daughter on taxes. He has to be current and paid in full on December 31 to claim her and again this year I am pretty sure he will be in arrears at the end of the year. He got laid off in March.

My BF is not looking forward to paying his ex CS. She wants blood and for now she is not bugging him about anything - she got a boyfriend and is being desent.

I should say that I am happy considering support has reduced several times over 5+ years. It started out at $3,000 a month and the last reduction took us down to $200 starting July 1st.

Maybe I am a malcontent. I'm not happy with paying ANYTHING! The judge gave a woman with a college degree 5 years to get a new degree and not require her to work while doing it. It wouldn't matter if it were $0.01 I wouldn't like it.

I do not beegrudge a parent paying or receiving c/s. Personally I would rather be able to spend the money on the kids myself. Because of the amount we paid BM we had no money to spend on the kids. No matter how we explained it the kids still thought and said "look what mommmmmmmmy bought me" All I could respond with was "your welcome" LOL I'm sure they thought I was nuts.

The state calculation is pretty fair. It used to be a lot harder to come up with it than it is now. I'm as happy as I can be about it.

________________________________________________________________

ANNE 8102 ♥ GEORGIA

so dont even get me started...LOL!!!

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

I am aggrevated that the court system seems to have sympathy toward a mother who doesn't have custody and has to pay child support. DH was paying 485 based on $7.50/hr and now BM pays him 285 based on $9.50/hr. This is for 2 kids. Does that make sense??? When DH and I(that's right I) took BM to court for custody plus CS the judge didn't even look up from the bench. I was kind of like why would a judge not ask why a woman would so easily give custody up. I guess the court system is too busy to ask questions!! But all in all I'm glad BM was made to help out otherwise she wouldn't. Believe me I asked several times if she would help financially without court involved but to no avail. So it was time to make her. 3 years and nothing is not right. On top of that DH was paying her CS for 1 yr when skids lived with us. Should you have to force a parent to provide for their own children. NO!!! My ex I feel pays a fair amount $600/2 kids and to be very honest I'm not inclined to up it. I do have some empathy he has to live too. I believe the system is rigged for BM(and I'm one). It is not fair to the fathers who put their kids first in everything. Some even swallow their pride and just take the crap BM dishes out. That was the case of my DH. Not anymore there is a new sheriff in town. I will never allow that witch to manipulate my DH again.

I am happy now, we went from paying $700.00/mo. for one kid- to recieving 130.00/mo. We always felt pissed that SD was dressed poorly, not given much for what BB was getting(although BB was usually well dressed and took her sorry butt out quite often), we usually helped if not got most school supplies, paid for yearbooks- alot of the extras beyond c/s. Now that being said- we feel we had our children and are fortunate enough to have decent income now- so we do use c/s directly for childs extras, shopping, books and stuff for the most part and try to put some back at the end if it's there for her college- she may not have alot saved for it at this moment but it's alot more than either DH or I were ever afforded.

BB was never satisfied with what she was getting, actually got the judge to the point of not allowing her to file for increases but yearly after we were there 5 times in 18 months-as DH hadn't changed jobs it was excessive even to them.

There is no reason where logic does not exist

When I met DH he was paying $700 for 2 girls and $300 for the boy. BM#1 got mad when we wouldn't buy SS15 a car so DH got called in for a review. CS was raised to $600 a month for SS. Then we moved out of state and DH negotiated with BM#2 and agreed to give her $900 a month plus pay for plane fare, school clothing each fall and extras like dance lessons, cheer camp, etc.

SD turned 18 and the CS dropped to $500 which is what we pay for SD17 who lives with her boyfriend so she never sees a dime of the money.Now BM has called and wants "board money" for SD20 who has moved back home. SD20 works full time and makes 1300 a month take
home pay.DH told BM that she needs to make SD pay the board money. Can you believe the nerve?

I am not happy with CS. We pay 2,000 per month in addition to alimony. The kd has not lived with his mom in 3 years and when he needs something its always ask your dad because I don’t have any money. Of course all the money goes to the gigolo that stays with BM. There is a light at the end of the tunnel in one year the CS and the alimony ends. I was just thinking how one event, the ending of CS and alimony, can make one person so happy and another so sad.

I would like the system of calculating CS completely overhauled.

Rather than having a percentage figured on what the kids standard of living was during the marriage, I would there to be a minimum amount figured out for basic needs per income bracket, sort of like taxes. Expecting people who now have two separate incomes, two households, etc, to spend the same on their kids as they did when they had ONE household, and combined incomes, just so the kids don't "suffer" missing out on the 4 weeks of overnight camps, four sports, three types of dance lessons, a new car, designer clothes etc etc etc...is ridiculous.

I'm not sure how they calculate when the parents were never together. Does anyone who has that know the way they figure it?

I would also like to see things divided the way my ex and I do. The person with the higher income provides the insurance, whoever takes them to the appt pays the co-pay/uncovered/left over amount, or it is split 50/50 (this prevents vindictive exs from racking up medical bills- I have seen that one many times.)

If a parent's income is below poverty level, I would like them made to take advantage of any government programs to help them, rather than expecting their ex to subsidize their income, AND would like to see a court appointed financial adviser/caseworker to help navigate all the paperwork for that (that's the only reason I balked at it myself, though I didn't get help from my ex. Paperwork was overwhelming and I have a college degree, worked in the medical field (ladled with paperwork and knew a lot about how to do that kinda thing.) I can't imagine people with no education trying to figure it out.

And I would like all extracurricular activities, dance, theatre, sports, to be divvied out equally. That way once again vindictive exs don't sign the kids up for EVERYTHING in order to extort more money from their ex.

OH- and here's the biggest. CS should be paid into an escrow type account in the child's name by BOTH parents, each paying what their tax status states they should be contributing, and can be withdrawn for college, insurance, medical, etc by either parent, but you have to submit a receipt for what you are using it for. Not for toys, clothes (except sports uniforms, and yearly school clothes/uniforms-and there would be a definite limit for those so it couldn't be abused.)

How's THAT????

We need to get CS out of being an extra income and into being used for the kids' needs.

I have many more smaller ideas. But this is the basic jest of them. I just wish someone would realize the current system often taps whoever is paying to the point that the kids DON'T get many of the things that they should.

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra

because we do not pay CS based on both DH and BM's income at the time they divorced. All that has changed and at this point BM could take DH back to court and get CS. She told him yesterday that HE SHOULD be paying her CS! I have a feeling she is working towards that but what pisses me off is that we have had SD for the majority of the time in hte past 4 years. I know if she does take him back to court that it won't matter, he has not kept any records like I asked him to, so there is nothing to stop her from getting $$ from him. It's just sick how this works sometimes.

~Evil
If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren

When my ex and I divorced, we had a amicable separation. So much so, that we went through mediation and used one attorney. At the time, I asked for no alimony (although I could have gotten it) and got $900/mo for my two boys. I had a pretty decent job in HR at the time.
In the eight years since we've been divorced, we raised it only once to $1000- no lawyers or anything involved. When it's amicable, things are always easy!

On the other hand...
when I met my future DH, things were UGLY with his crazy, lazy ex who left him for another man.

She never held a FT job and on occasion held a PT job (it was always TOO HARD for her to work- BOO HOO)
He had a very good income. The divorce proceedings were beyond contentious.

She got 65% of the marital assets. Plus over $4000/mo. in alimony (I guess as a REWARD for having an affair in their home). But that stopped shortly after DH hired a PI to prove she was shacked up with the guy.

They have 3 kids and he has them 50% of the time. He pays over $4000/mo. Plus ALL school expenses. Plus ALL activity fees. Plus anything associated with the activites. Plus all medical /dental expenses. Plus, she nickle-and-dimes him for anything else she can think of- like frggin milk money for the one kid in the amount of $7.00!

Then when the kids need something when they're with her (like clothes or shoes or shampoo or a hairbrush) she'll tell them she has no money and says, "Go ask you're father."

But she had another kid with her new 'Mr. Wonderful'. I guess the CS pays for that kid, because she always has money to spend on things for the NEW kid! And she and her reprobate husband always seem to have enough money to go out and live it up while the kids stay home and babysit the little brat.

Oh I could go on and on. CS is a JOKE! She doesn't use it to support THEM at all. I can't wait until all of them are 18 and she doesn't have a pot to piss in

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

i think its completely fair that NCPs pay CS...BOTH parents should take responsibility in providing for their children regardless of whom they live w/. its the WAY they calculate it that gets me.
honestly, how many of u who have one kid and make combined roughly around $70k a year spend $800 a month on that ONE kid, not including daycare or medical??? but this is what the state says that one kid should be receiving.
i just dont think its fair that our system encourages women to NOT take care of themselves and their kids and bleed the man dry. also, i think CPs should hav eto report where that money is going to.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

Bm is getting 1100 a mo. out of BF for child support right now for 2 kids and he has them 1/3 of the time. That calculation is figured on her having them full time and it should be lowered. CS was awfully quick to take his wages when she filed for CS but once he started having the kids more they are taking their sweet time adjusting it. BM doesn't work, she uses her kids for an excuse not to, says that she can't afford child care which is such a crock. It would be a bit different if we knew she was spending the money on the kids but we KNOW she is not. She gets her CS every Tuesday and funny how her car is parked at the casino all day every Tuesday and she can't even pay her phone bill. In fact she pawns the kids things (she pawned SS's playstation that BF bought him for christmas a week after) or returns whatever BF buys them at the store for the money. Then she tells the kids that she has to because they have to have money to live. She used to call up BF and con him out of more money in addition to the CS and he would actually give it to her until I finally spoke up and told him I would not stand for it and if he continued to do that then he could kiss our relationship goodbye! CS is a JOKE! These money grubbing BMs should have to account for and show reciepts for every dime of the CS that they spend. When BF confronted her about gambling away all the CS money she told BF that was her money and he would support HER for the rest of her life. HA! I can't wait until those kids turn 18 and she will no longer be entitled to a dime!

Rissa - any gift purchased for the skids by you and H should be kept at your home - do not allow them to take it back to their Mom's or this sort of thing will continue to happen. God - what a poor excuse for a mother - pawning her children's belongings - that is just lower then low!!

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

I have heard of cases where both parents equally put support money into a state held account, then monthly (or however they worked it) they would take in their reciepts for childcare, clothing,medical- whatever and get reimbursed for it, whatever was left when the children reached college was theirs for that reason. I love the idea, neither party can be too bitter about that. I feel that at this age I would need to pay a mortgage anyway, electric, gas all that- really I would need the extra bedroom for child but covering cost that way sounds really fair to me and worked wonderfully between the two mature people involved- theres the catch I guess.

There is no reason where logic does not exist

My ex and I got divorced and CS was calculated in a state where it is quite fair. He was the first one to leave that state and then a couple years later i also moved out of that state. now we each live in two different states and for him to revisit the CS issue it would have to be done in the state that he lives in. (The state he lives in would be less fair to him than the previous state.) And if we were to revisit this issue I would likely end up with less CS because I make much more now than I did 8 years ago when CS was originally calculated and I cannot say the same for his wages. I'm sure I make much more than he does.

Don't know how this compares to what everyone else receives, but I get just under $500 a month for one child.

Don't make me get my flying monkeys!!!

i thought the same thing about everything...especially the TAMPONS!!!

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

This is the most ridiculous calculation I know of. I have no idea why the $ I make would have anything to do with how much my husband has to pay the ex's. Right now the bm of my 15 year old SD that I have supported for over 8 years now as the BM is a complete loser and has nothing to do with her. This BM loser is suing my husband for child support for a child he did not father that she had while she was on her drug binges and running from the law and we could not get her served with divorce papers. Because they were still legally married, the state of FL considers him the legal father. We are in the midst of fighting it and it does not look good. I can not understand how she can have a child with some crackhead and they can think it is ok to go after my husband for support. He has 4 of his own children, 1 of which is hers that she in turn pays nothing for and forces me to pay for it. In return, my SD treats me like crap.