I had it checked out by an IT person.  It wasn't cheap, but now I have peace of mind.  My next guess is that he was just hovering in hopes I'd be cooking lunch or something, and it was really working out his way.  I have started doing work stuff via my laptop, though, because I know he never has access to it and I know he likes to sneak into our office and dig around in here.  He stole my earbuds last week and tried to literally blame it on the dog, saying that he must have counter-surfed them off my desk because he brought them down to the basement straight to Guzzlord... I checked them over for bitemarks just in case he was actually telling the truth, but they're completely fine.  He snuck into our office after bedtime, he saw something he felt he wanted and felt entitled to (not the 1st time, though he's not exactly a raging thief, but...), he took it, and he folded as soon as he was confronted by attempting to blame River.  

DH and I had a huge falling out about a week ago, and now Guzzlord is all butt-hurt because he overheard me telling DH it was time to start making some serious decisions about his kid living off him forever vs. he and I building a future.  I didn't go full ultimatum, but I put it into the ether that such an ultimatum is forthcoming if he doesn't change some things.

So naturally, after this huge fight and me hinting at the possible end of our relationship if he intends for us to raise Guzzlord in the basement 'til we die...

His dad died.  

I know how insensitive this sounds, I really do, but why just then?  I know they're going through something very difficult, and I feel like such a jerk because I just keep thinking how I can't seem to catch a break in all this.  I feel so bad for them both.  We knew his dad was struggling with a stubborn foot infection (presumably exacerbated by the fact that he'd just moved to Filipines with his new wife where his immune system had to get used to a very different environment, and also presumably exacerbated by the fact that they chose to hold a prayer service for his foot more than a week before finally seeing a doctor about it).  But we had no reason when he moved down there to think he was going to die only three months into his new life.  One day we were hearing that the antibiotics were working, the next he was in the hospital with renal failure, and then just gone. 

DH missed over a week of work, which is several days more than bereavement pay is going to cover.  We're not exactly destitute but we also made a huge out-of-state move recently and DH isn't really the best with money, and so we've been working really hard to get back to where we were before this move.  And now we have to cover his father's final expenses and hope like hell his minuscule life insurance policy is enough to make it up.  And DH and Guzzlord now have to travel out of state for a memorial service with the rest of the family back in their home state where the family plots are (because everyone knows it's totally normal to be cremated AND buried, right?), who aren't in any hurry to help with getting the cremation done and the remains shipped State-side.  And I feel a ton of pressure to pick up a 3rd job to help make ends meet, but I know if I do that, no one is going to pick up the slack here at home.  DH thinks Guzzlord putting in 15 minutes of weed-eating two days a week is him really "starting to show some initiative".  He's really got his blinders on when it comes to his kid (guilty daddy syndrome is real, y'all).  There's a 0% chance he'd try and make him step up in any significant way.  Every time he's tried before, Guzzlord will go along for a few days and then it just stops and DH kind of shrugs it off.  

I'm rambling now, so I'll stop.  I just have a lot to think about and it helps to type it all out, so if you're reading this, thank you.