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What is it with the bedrooms?????....long....sorry

Gabby77's picture

Submitted by Gabby77 on Tue, 11/13/2007 - 9:09am

I posted before about DH wanting oldest SD 7 to have own room in new house (even though I'm pregnant and she is only with us 3 nigts a week). I wnated her and other SD 2 to share bigger bedroom and save smaller room for Nursery. It was a huge fight but eventually he came around to my side. ( I basically told him if he was giving that room to SD the baby and I weren't moving in with them).

So the big move came and ebery freaking time DH showed someone the house he would get to the baby's room and say this is the nursery but as soon as the baby is old enough this will be SD7's room and we'll move the baby in with SD2. I wnated to kill him. First of all the girls ar eonly with us 3 nights a week so why shouldn't a child whose going to live with us full time have their own room. Second of all he keeps telling everyone that SD is getting older and needs her own space. Sorry no way! SD can't break the habbit of Saying DADA and things like, "Me milky pwease" at the dinner table. CLearly she is not at a developmental milestone yet where she needs her own space. Plus DH just made a big deal last week about how people can't pay attention to the baby and SD2 too much because SD7 is still only 7 and feels left out. Again not really that mature. I'm sorry but I don't think a child dserves their own room just because they turn a certain age. Maybe when they contribute to the household.

Plus before we moved I got the house after work and DH was there with girls and SD showed me the room and said this is the babies room but once It comes I can have it. I said to her that this was the nursery, not her room. She then proceeded to tell me that Daddy said....blah blah blah. I explained to her no, this is the baby's room and then went to find DH with flames shooting out of my ears. I confronted him and asked him if he said it and he said it was a conversation between him and SD. I asked him not to discuss things with the children that are things he and I need to discuss. Unless he and SD want to split the rent! She is not part of this decison much to her chagrin as she is not an adult in the family!!!

This is going to be a big fight for months to come. I'm painting the nursery with the most baby friendly colors and wallpaper possible to make it unattractive to an older child!

Comments

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Tue, 11/13/2007 - 9:26am

I totally agree with your reasoning that SDs can share the larger room and baby can have nursery. Aren't men dense sometimes? My husband and I had the same fight when we had a three-bedroom house and were looking for a four bedroom, with one SD and one BD and one more on the way. He said we could still buy a three-bedroom house and SD would have her own room and two BDs could share the other room. SD was only with us every other week. What?! I just ended up getting a four-bedroom house so I wouldn't have to fight with him about it.

In Victorian times, the nursery was always for the baby and the older children shared a large room. I don't see anything wrong with that. The baby needs quiet and calm, which won't happen if she/he has to room with a 2-year-old. Stick to your guns!

jen76's picture

Submitted by jen76 on Tue, 11/13/2007 - 10:51am

I have the same complaint with my DH not understanding the room situation. We have a 3 bedroom house. One room for SD8 and one for our 20 month old son. We are thinking about having another child and he just thinks that the new baby could just share rooms with our son. Why should my children have to share a room when SD is only here EOW? She has the bigger room already and I will not allow a room to go unused in our house just so she can have her own room. I know that hubby would feel bad that his poor princess wouldn't get what she wanted, but give me a break! Sometimes I don't know why they can't think logically.

goingcrazy's picture

Submitted by goingcrazy on Tue, 11/13/2007 - 9:59pm

It would probably be a different story if the Skids were with you ALL THE TIME. My daughter goes to her dad's one night during the week, then four days every other week. Plus a week here, a week there whenever she feels like it. But she does not have her own room there. They did not have the space and my ex and his new wife had the same fight as you. She didnt think it was fair for her children to lose a room so that my daughter had her own room for the occassions she was there. My ex was furious "well, she HAS to have her own room.. she does at her moms..." I actually stepped in and sided with the SM. My daughter is just fine. This is her primary house. No big deal. And if my husband's other daughter (that we do not have custody of) was able to come visit, she would NOT get her own room. Period! We do not have the space for it and it just does not make sense. Your baby deserves the room. The baby is the full time child there.

Sounds to me like your DH (not standing for dear this time) has a little too much attachment to his oldest daughter. All f the kids deserve equal attention. It isnt that hard. Boy, I feel for you. Like you need to handle his crap while you are carrying the baby. When will men realize that stress is not a good idea for pregnant women!!!!