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the in-laws are coming next month!!.....deep breaths...

foxymama87's picture

I'm very fortunate to have a wonderful mother in law to be. I absolutely love that women and with good reason. She is a sweet, supportive, giving, caring, understanding person who hates the ex-wife with all her might. (that's a bonus for me! lol) I hate to say this but I would have rather had her as a mother then the one I actually have.

Anyway MIL and her husband are coming for a visit next month. I'm very excited. They are great people but...Yes you know there is always a BUT. There's this little issue I have... What do grandparents like to do best??...If you said spoil their grand kids then you are correct!!!

Every time they come down to visit. Its grammy give this, grammy me give that. "Yes dear of course". SD9 would you like this?, ooh how about that and some of these, and some of those etc..AHH it drives me off the fucking wall!!! I understand that she doesn't see her grand kid as often as she would like but that doesn't give her the right to turn her into a bigger spoiled brat then what she already is because once she leaves guess who gets to deal with SD9...yes, me!

Yes its okay to spoil your grand kid, fine but there's a limit, a line and she crosses it every flipping time. The Brat is never satisfied!, she always wants more and I never hear a thank you from her! not one! Its freaking sad. BD and I have spoke about it but he says "that's mom/gammy if she wants to spoil SD9 then let her. I'm not getting into that one because she always wins. Besides she doesn't see her often and think of it this way, the more she buys her shit the less we have to". If You have a problem then you tell her". Fine, we don't have to buy her shit afterwards but that still doesn't make it right!

yes, I do have a problem with it but don't know how to approach MIL about the subject without hurting her feelings..

How would you talk to your MIL about spoiling your skids? or do you even bother??

Comments

briarmommy's picture

My husband has actually talked to his mother about spoiling my ss. She is just over the top with it, and this kid is bratty enough without her buying him everything that he wants that we told him he couldn't have. After that it has gotten a little better, but that also be because my DH told her if we don't want him to have it and you give it to him we will take it away and it will be returned, the money will go back to her but if we say no then it is no.

OhNoYouDidNot's picture

Your FDH should address the matter, and shield you from being tagged as the wicked FSM. Hopefully, he supports you and you could explain to him that you both are trying to teach the children a set of values and that perhaps his parents should refrain from making their relationship with the SKIds based on material items, and concentrate more on nurturing.

If they come with 1 small gift, that shouldn't be dramatic, but NOT to purchase everything they touch or drool on.

I hear you, foxymama, my MIL pulls out the big bills and sends DH's spoiled, unappreciative kids on shopping sprees, and the moment they snivel that they saw something but didn't have enough, she whips out the cash again :sick: Have FDH put a stop to it before the ILs arrive.

Good luck.

MamaBecky's picture

I think its a problem with grandparents see there gkids regularly and spoil them. It fuels there entitlement. However when grandparents see gkinds once or twice a year...its a special occassion and I dont think that it should be a HUGE issue. An annoyance to be dealt with sure...but pick your battles. You have a good relationship with MIL and i assume you want to keep it that way...then dont interfere with her limited relations with her gkid.

Enforce rules regarding manners, please and thank you even if you have to in front of GMA but dont try to tell GMA that she cant spoil/do things for/please her grandkids. Again if she only sees them once or twice a year let her. Now if she does this weekly/daily and she lives up the block its a whole other story!

Disneyfan's picture

Unless you want your FMIL to put you in the same boat as the ex, it's best you not say anything.