Disney Grandma and over attachment
I know grand parents are there to spoil and pamper on their grand kids, but my DH and I think my MIL is over the top.
She has literally spent beyond her means to buy things for SS6 and usually for things that he has asked for. He is pretty good at manipulating her as she is such an easy target.
She will allow him to treat her badly, like getting mad with her when she plays games with him and he's also bossy and a bit a of a 'know it all' towards her. She, for some unknown reason, thinks that behavior is adorable and that he's such a funny kid. DH will correct SS if he sees it and then MIL will get all upset and say DH is way too hard on SS. There have been so many hurt feelings between DH and MIL over SS and it always ends up in a big blow up and then a few weeks of sulking (my DH) before they work it out again.. then the cycle begins all over again. Meanwhile, SS becomes more feral and rude to MIL until DH finally disciplines him. I just don't understand why she tolerates anyone (especially a kid) being demanding and rude. Now, he can also be very loving towards her when he's in a good mood and getting things.
The other thing that is odd is how attached MIL is to SS. She says she can't live without him, that he is the reason she can get up in the morning (she suffers from depression and is on meds). He's the most important thing to her and her most precious little thing. She is always wanting to see him and have him stay with her and has lately wanted to do FaceTime calls with him. Keep in mind that we live about 3 miles from MIL and not several states away. She will mostly ignore anyone else when SS is around. She'll drop a conversation mid sentence if SS calls for her and dedicates 99% of her attention to him and not the rest of her family at gatherings.
Do others have grand parents like this? How do you handle skids after they have been with the grand parents and come home all hyper and forgetting basic manners etc.
Anytime SS spends a weekend with MIL he will be very moody and difficult and whiney for 2 to 3 days after the visit. This drives DH crazy as we end up with lots of behavior issues to work through and of course SS resents having to live with rules, boundaries and structure so he acts out.
Yes, it is hard to watch and
Yes, it is hard to watch and not necessary IMO
My SD does a factory reset
My SD does a factory reset everytime she goes back to her BMs. All manners, common sense, etc *click click DELETED*
But my husband's parents have very little to do with SD. The last time they asked for her was when i had been injured in a riding accident and my MIL didn't want her bothering me so she kept her for the weekend.
Yes!!! Doing a factory reset
Yes!!! Doing a factory reset is exactly how it is.
SS's maternal grandparents are like your DH's parents. They only make contact for Christmas, his birthday and about two other times during the year. They don't really like SS and have always said he's too difficult etc. SS can be problematic and difficult, but it's sad that they don't see him much anyway.
Just, your MIL has become
Just, your MIL has become fixated on ss in a very unhealthy way. She needs to address this with a therapist and maybe an adjustment in meds.
Her need will continue to grow until it explodes and that will not be good for anyone
I agree that it is at an
I agree that it is at an unhealthy level. I'm not sure if she is in therapy or even counseling.
She has a bedroom for SS at her house that is like a shrine, so many photos and keepsakes of SS that DH thinks it is borderline weird. She also does toddler things for SS like washing him in a bubble bath and she will wipe for him after the bathroom. DH has talked with her about those things saying that SS can wash and wipe himself, but she'll say he is too young to be having to do all that for himself. He is 6.5 years old!!
If my mother was like this
If my mother was like this she never would've seen Deigma ever...
I'm the parent not her and if I say it's left it's left and if she says anything towards me in front of the brat that would be the last time she saw him.... Yes my mother said a couple off times I'm to hard on Deigma... but that was when we were alone
I'm sure there are times that
I'm sure there are times that DH is too hard on him, he makes plenty of mistakes just like any other parent, but when MIL causes a problem because of that it makes everything awkward. SS is one of those kids who will take advantage and misbehave in a second.
DH and MIL are never on the same page and often go through spells of not talking. DH also likes to blame MIL for all of SS's bad behaviors.
suggest to DH - that he talks
suggest to DH - that he talks to his mother in private and tell her I will be less hard if you keep your mouth shut in front of SS, you can parent me later when we are alone....
Aww you have a unikitty
Aww you have a unikitty (hugs)
sounds like my MIL. ya'll
sounds like my MIL.
ya'll have heard some stories from me in the past. she always got puckered when she thought dh was being too harsh, cuz she knew his parenting got tightened up because of me - lol!!!
when dh and i met, she wouldnt let any of them drink out of a cup - http://cdn.babygearlab.com/photos/0/56/306636_15829_XL.jpg
oss was TEN when i met them. she kept this up for several years... she co-slept w/ oss until he was SIXTEEN FREAKING YEARS OLD. possibly longer, but i have no confirmation of that. she would give kaos SUGARED MILK. i've tasted it before and have gotten lock-jaw. i've seen her feed the kids LifeSavers from her mouth directly to theirs - she'd hold one half between her lips and they'd grab it with their mouth - all while calling them "little bird!" :sick: :sick: :sick:
i've often told dh "your mother wants oss to be her son so bad, she can taste it." needless to say, she got her wish. oss moved in with her and only responds to or contacts dh if he needs money.