I don't think, personally, that you can ever count on "others" owning up to personal faults. It is tough for most to admit them to themselves, much less to family. I wouldn't hold your breath for that one. I think it is great that you try to work on yourself and you should continue, BUT, don't let your family, particularly your skids see you owning up to your wrongdoings TOO often. As you said, they are not going to own up to their own, you could make it too easy for them to blame all of the problems on you, after all, you are admitting that you are partially at fault. Do you see what I'm saying? Working on yourself is fabulous, but don't give the skids ammunition, limit how much responsibility for the problems you take upon yourself. As for others working on things with you, that is not really up to the skids, but you and your DH. Discuss with him how you are feeling, and ways, by consequences for behavior, to begin to illicit change in the skids' behavior. Hope that helps a little!

As for Postpartum depression, oh yea, been there. Private message me if you would like to discuss. I'm actually pregnant again now, so I am bracing myself for another episode.

Best of luck!

I often feel the same way about taking responsibility etc. Someone wrote me a personal note once, so sweet, basically telling me to give myself a break and stand up for myself. I tend to agree. However, I still believe that taking inventory on myself can only benefit me. Even if no one else is doing it. Even if they want to make me the scapegoat, even if... Good for you for being open and taking ownership of what is yours. My husband told me that one of the reasons he married me was because I was able and willing to look within. He wanted to grow with someone, not suffer through a relationship. I say God bless you and go ahead and vent.

As for postpartum depression. I think I had a mild case of it. I've read and watched programs addressing more extreme cases of it that can be very very serious and require attention, drugs, intervention of sorts.

For me, I had scary/weird thoughts. Thoughts I knew were inappropriate. What I did was remind myself that this was normal and hormonal. I also told myself that if I started to feel really weird, or wanted to act on any of my thoughts it was time to tell someone. I never did tell and the thoughts went away. If in doubt find someone you trust and talk to them.

I'm sure lots of women here will share their stories and hopefully make you feel better. There are many many things we never talk about with child birth. I don't know why. If you need to talk to someone more. I am here to listen, PM me.

when DH accused me of not being compassionate, forgiving, too hard on the kids, or too obsessed with having a clean house. I used to do the same thing when he was quick to point out my DD's imperfections, her mouth and messy room. In order to pacify my DH, I used to announce all of the positive changes she and I were working on. But I quit because DH never once admitted his or his son's shortcomings, which are many and far more serious. I was supposed to make all of the positive changes while DH maintained his own permissive parenting style never acknowledging that his son was dictating the workings of our house, lying endlessly, manipulating, being irresponsible, self-centered, self-absorbed, and inconsiderate to the three other members in the house. Change, like beauty, is quite clearly in the eye of the beholder. If you are dealing with people who think that they already are perfect, they aren't going to change. I realized I was dealing with a DH who knows deep down his son is not loyal but is unable to admit it. I've begged DH to get the boy some help but he refuses. All I ever get are excuses.

Did you google for info on postpartum? I experienced feelings of extreme emptiness after delivering my daughter. No one ever told me how alone I was going to feel. It was terrible, horrible!

I wish you well in your blended family, and I certainly can relate to your situation! The next time you find yourself validating your own positive changes, ask your DH or SKs what they're doing to improve your family. There is no I in team!