is this behavior normal?
The previous blog posted regarding step children being very childish and immature made me think about something else that has always struck me as a bit strange regarding my bf's 12 yo son.
He very rarely showers, brushes his teeth, his hair, etc. Trying to get him to do so is very difficult, and it has gotten to the point that my bf doesn't even really argue with him about it anymore. I said to him "Don't you think kids at school are going to start making fun of him?" His response is, well if that happens maybe he will finally start to do it.
What do you guys think? Is there a nice way I can bring this up to bf? Generally, when I say something I am told something along the lines of I am the "perfect mother" even though I have no children and that I can not possibly understand bc I don't have children.
Can anyone offer any suggestions? Thank you!
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you don't need to be a mother
you don't need to be a mother to know about and practice simple hygeine. I do understand with kids at different ages, that they just don't think about this stuff... which is why we as responsible adults, need to remind them and teach them the importance.
Your BF is simply being irresponsible (and a jerk IMHO) by not helping him through this and then hoping that maybe he'll get ridiculed in school rather than deal with the problem??? It's difficult to get my 18 month old to stay off the stairs, but I do it, because I am the responsible adult, it's difficult to get my 18 month old to stay out of the road, but I do it because I am the responsible adult.
It's not easy being a parent sometimes, your BF needs to step up and deal with this!
I know when I was 12 I did
I know when I was 12 I did that stuff without anybody telling me to. In my prev post I was saying my 10yr old SS has to be told everything to do, even to shut the door behind him. I think boys are behind girls on this kind of thing though. My husb has to tell my SS to brush his teeth and take a shower every night. I bet he would never do it if not told. He puts up a protest every night. I'm pretty sure when my daughter was about 11 she started doing all that stuff without being told. I bet like the prev post put, when he gets interested in impressing girls, that changes. I think boys are just behind on that.
Pretty irritating though.
It just grosses me out to be
It just grosses me out to be honest, and doing things like forgetting to flush the toilet...so disgusting!
Thank you for all the input!
GG (the biodad I live with)
GG (the biodad I live with) would just look the other way when Prince Hygiene (SS at the time almost 7) would routinely take "soapless showers"
No soap or shampoo would be used, and he would squat down in the shower and play with the drain. I'd expect this type of behaviour from a four year old but not a child stb 7.
But it all comes back to socially stunting a child on purpose so said child can forever be "mommykins or daddykins BABY" Gives bioparents a feeling of being wanted that their children are so dependent on them. I myself don't understand it as a one time REAL single parent; I wanted my children to be as independent as possible!!!
Also it comes from the "instant gratification/pacification" model of non-parenting. Don't make Junior/Princess do anything he/she doesn't want to do b/c he/she might put up a fight or tantrum and then you'd actually have to PARENT (aka get off your dead ass and instill some VALUES in Junior or Princess). These free-ranging non-parents are ok as long as Junior/Princess is HAPPY! The demands get bigger and bigger, and the spawn decides to "opt out" of more and more responsibility. And then these non-parents wonder why their little monsters have turned into great big ones!!
If it's every once in a
If it's every once in a while, I say it's normal...if it's daily, it's not. My kiddo will be 10 in July. He has developmental delays. When his dad is here, because his dad showers in the morning, as soon as he gets up, he jumps in the shower without anyone telling him....wether he showered at night or not. Brushing his teeth seems to be a pain...but I make him do it, no ifs ands or buts...hmmm...But normally he does take a shower when told, although sometimes wants 5 more minutes or 10 more minutes...but he will do it...