Some Advice on this please...
I have this little issue with approaching my wife about the topic of talking about SD on the weekends she's not here. I dont mind a casual conversation honestly, but every weekend she is not here I feel like it's a vacation for me and while I'm sure my wife misses her, I don't really share that feeling so i'm sure that is why she does this, but I really don't feel the need to talk about SD or make plans for SD or shop for SD when she's not here. She dominates most of our time when she is here so I feel like it's a much welcomed break when she's gone. Of course I can't come up with any way to bring this up to DW without it turning into a huge fight. And just so you guys know, my past experience in bringing up ANYTHING about SD, usually leads to some kind of disagreement because in my wife's eyes, my brining up anything means I hate her lol which is not the case, but I digress...thanks again!
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Make plans for the weekend
Make plans for the weekend before hand. She's probably just filling up her time instead of hanging around the house after the choirs are done. Women need some help when it comes to doing something just fun for us.
I have had this same issue.
I have had this same issue. We get steps every weekend, but their ghosts are here when they are not here.
I know how you feel, it it NOT that you hate them at all!!! You may even really like SD. It is that you just want some time with you and your wife. You married your wife, not you your wife and SD.
I hate when people talk about this package deal crap. Yes, you married a woman with a child, but you married a woman, and it is not selfish to want some darn alone time with that woman.
I wouldn't bring this up to your wife, because it will just sound like you are saying that you don't like SD. The way I handle it, is by trying to subtly diverting the subject to something non-step related. Like when dh says, oh wouldn't this be nice, wouldn't steps like this. I will say, oh yes, my and biodaughter would to do that. I am not trying to be mean, but I don't know what the steps would like to do or not. And my life does not revolve around the steps.
"so I feel like it's a much
"so I feel like it's a much welcomed break when she's gone."
as if you took the words out of my mouth -- except it would be "their" gone since i have 2 ass gnats to deal with...
dh usually doesn't bring them up ANYMORE -- but whe he does -- i'm assuming a huge sour expression comes across my face because he usually puts the breaks on the convo regarding ass gnats PRONTO... otherwise i walk away, go outside, make a dirnk -- just pretend i didn't hear him.... or as snowflake -- change the subject..
lol thanks all..in it to win
lol thanks all..in it to win it sbs so yes...and id like to point out and give credit where credit is due..the wife really is doing well with therapy and is coming along...I do agree with you about putting her kid WAY above me lol but Rome wasnt built in a day and we are making progress...actually outside of SD, we have never really had a disagreement or fight
Me too. I can't bring up the
Me too. I can't bring up the SS without an argument. I would suggest this: telling your wife that you need some alone time with her. Maybe step up the romance and she will direct her attention to you and not the absent daughter. If my husband was more romantic, I wouldn't have time to think about anything else!!
lol I bring up alone time
lol I bring up alone time alot CR lol that is why we have as many kids as we do...but seriously...should I get all romantic in the middle of the Gap while buying clothes for the kids? It just seems like every thing reminds her of SD when she is gone...clothes, food, music, movies...I'm sure she is missing her but it's almost like an obsession...and like I said, I don't share those feelings...