My DH does the same thing when we fight about his ex. He says things like " your unbelievable" or " I need to get out of here" in a disgusted tone then ether storms out or gives me the "silent treatment". I know he does this just to shut me up when i'm right and he does not have a good answer. Once JUST once I wish I had the balls to look him in the eyes and tell him to go f*ck himself and his exwife and get out.

When he stands there slack jawed with shocked look on his face let him know that the next time he threatens to leave or divorce you over a disagreement over the Skids that he batter pack his crap and leave because his key won't work the next time he tries it in the door.

That should give him the message that it is time to "shit or get off of the pot".

Juvenile threats like the one your DH throws out when he can't use his brain to come up adults words don't sit well with me. If my Wife pulled that crap I would show her to the door in order to make sure she got the message that 1. The marriage comes first. and 2. That I would not tolerate the threats more than once.

Fortunately it is not an issue for us ....... at least so far.

I have survived the demise of one marriage and come out of the recovery in a much better place than I was in during my entire first marriage. I survived it once and thrived I can do it again. If I can do it, anyone can.

Just my thoughts of course.

Good luck and best regards.

My belief is that you work it out, you don't work it out...whatever...talk or not talk...but never, ever walk out. My DH did this once when we began living together...that is all it took. I very happily told him, if you EVER dare walk out after an argument again, much less stay anywhere but our place, you will never see me again. He at first didn't believe it. He claimed that his mom always told him if he was angry to walk away and go for a ride or whatever...That does NOT work with me.

My ex-husband did this, yes, only ONCE! haha! I called him and he told me he wasn't coming back. He thought we could fight and that if he wanted to, I would just take him back. Well, as much as I was hurt by what he did, I told him on Sunday that he had until FRIDAY to come home...if he did not, I would file for divorce. He called me bluff, I filed for divorce that FRIDAY! It takes 60 days to get a divorce in Texas, and 60days after that Friday we were divorced.

I told my DH this when we dated...I guess he had forgotten...I also told him that the only reason I waited until Friday with my ex was because we were indeed married...but he wouldn't be afforded the same luxury. He has never done it since.

what everyone else has said here. Threatening to leave every time you fight is emotional blackmail and psychologically abusive. That's no way to live -- in fear that eventually he will leave you. Such an abusive attitude is designed to always make you the bad guy, so he can think of himself as blameless. ("She is soooo difficult, that's why we have so many problems.")

My ex would do this kind of thing as well. Thank god he's my ex -- I was miserable with him, as he needed me to agree with him 100% of the time, and if I didn't, he'd find a way to punish me for it, that day or months later. It would always come back to bite me in the butt. I was always the problem.

I would give your H an ultimatum and stick with it: "The next time you threaten to leave me, I'm done. I'm not living like this." And stick to it. That should show you how committed he is to the marriage. If he stops, you know he's really there for better and for worse. If not, well, then, you're not losing much.

BB

- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)

I say similar things when I'm seriously mad at fh....I'm leaving if you don't fix this...or I'm leaving because yadda yadda yadda. The point is, for me, I'm just feeling so frustrated and at the end of my tether, that I cant express myself like a rational adult...I have to resort to the 'I'm leaving' stuff.
I certainly don't mean it(for the most part). I want to stay with FH forever...but more than that I want to be HAPPY. For some reason, FH allows things to happen that make me incredibly miserable and unless I go completely psycho on him he doesn't move fast enough to fix it. And what I mean is, I've had to go nuts and act like I escaped from the nuthouse for months when we've argued over the house and letting BM run around in it before he finally wised up and said enough is enough. So that's handled, but I had to get to the point where I was absolutely ready to walk.
The downside is that now if I"m frustrated and even speak in a way that might imply I'm even considering leaving, he doesn't take me seriously...its' like that little boy who cried wolf story...nobody believed him when the wolf really did come.
So, not saying your H is right, I'm just saying maybe he's maxed out his adult coping skills and is falling back on behavior he learned early on.

listen to this sick crap.....everytime my stepmom and biodad would argue, she would literally pack her clothes, give me her jewelry box and call a cab and stand on the porch waiting for the cab to come....with me on the porch with her telling me she "had to leave"....thing was she never left!!!!.....now I was like between the ages of 4-6 and thought she was my biomom (long story)...and I am now 45 and can remember it like it was yesterday...talk about abandonment issues?...I have no tolerance for that crap....I agree with the other posters....next time he goes to a motel for the nite cuz he can't "deal", change the locks....tell him u want to be married to a man, not someone who deals with conflict like a child....all marriages have problems, its how u deal with them that determine if the marriage is solid or not .....hang in there!!!

"Sooner or later, everyone's bill comes due"

is it common among y'all that your partner will seem to deliberately cause a fight when you have something big going on the next day? A meeting, something important..
And they get you all upset and crazy.
I"m sorry you're going through all this EvilD...nobody needs this kind of drama
Hugs

My ex would be a complete a-hole whenever we were about to leave for a trip -- and then when I got all tense, he'd tell me I was horrible to travel with and that he never had any fun on trips with me.

One of the many reasons he's my ex.

BB

- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)