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EvilDiva's Blog

Decisions Decisions

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Well, thanks so much to all those who responded to my previous blog about my SD14's grandfather. Even before reading them, I had decided that this was her decision to make, not mine. I have challenged her for the past 6 years to be decisive and employ reason. Allowing her to not make this decision would not be helpful to her at all. So, she is going to have to make this decision independent of me.

uuuuuggggghhhhhhhh...SD14 wants me to make the decision

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So, we had it all worked out with the passing of SD14's maternal grandpa....we'll go to burial site after everyone leaves and allow her time to say her goodbyes. She was okay with that plan. We supported her. Well, guess what?

There's no burial site. Apparently the body was donated to science. So there is a memorial service at 2 on Saturday. I tell SD14 to let me know what she thinks and she tells me today two disturbing things:

1. If she goes, she wants me to take her and not H. This is problematic b/c biomom hates me with a passion.

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH

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I spoke with SD14 and told her about her grandfather passing away and she said, I bet he is in a better place now, no pain and no cancer. I gave her the options: attend the funeral, attend the burial wit funeral party or go by yourself with H at later time. She opted for the latter as she said there is no way she wants to be caught up in any drama. She then....tear tear...thanked me for being straight up with her and just helping her in every way. (Makes me cry!)

If there is a HELL, I fear I am going there....

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Hi, ST....been gone for a while, busy at work. I come in need of some confession time. On Sunday, H receives text from BM that her father is gravely ill and she wants SD14 (we are custodial parents) to come see him before he passes. SD14 is at friend's house for weekend. H and I discuss it and he asks me if SD14 should go.

BM saves the day......YAY!

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ok, so I was dreading the graduation tomorrow night and lo and behold BM saves the day by posting a blog that she is afraid of my H and what he is going to do to her tomorrow. Now my H can be annoying at times, but he doesn't have an abusive I'll hit a woman bone in his pudgy sexy body.

So I shared the blog with my H and he said you know what...I'm not going. I'm so done with them.

No contact with BM

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since November when we dropped SD14 at her house. SD14's sisters called us late November and left vm for SD14 that BM had run a marathon. BM left a VM for SD14 on Christmas which was not returned as we were skiing in Colorado....

Since then, we have received no emails, no surprise visits, no nada....and it has me on pins and needles. I like it when BM is being "idiotic," (h's words) because then I know what she is up to. But all this silence is making my head hurt.

Anyone ever had this experience? The BM seems to just give up or drop off the face of the earth.

OT- a little - there is no denying it

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H and I are from 2 different worlds and we want vastly different lifestyles.

I am talking about everything -- how to parent children, where to live, how to make good investments. You name it, and we are polar opposites.

I love him so much, but as I told him today maybe we are just figuring out after 6 years that we are too different to peacefully co-exist.

The latest issues:

IT IS DONE...THE ULTIMATUM

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has been issued first thing this morning. I called H and asked if he had a good night. I then told him to listen very carefully as there would be no arguing or negotiating. I told him he knew from the moment we met how I felt about using profane names (b*tch, c*nt, etc. as my mom called us those names as a child). I also reminded him that I told him I did not want a rel'ship in which there was a revolving door b/c I do have huge abandonment issues. I told him that I recognize I am no angel and can be pretty mean when we argue.

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