Advice for a friend- sortof OT but IS kid related
So, I have not been around as much lately. I have been busy at work.. and bought a horse.. so have been pretty much on the go. But, I came across a situation yesterday that I would really appreciate some advice that I can pass on. I know that a few people on here have background with social services etc...
The lady that runs the boarding place where I keep my horse asked my advice yesterday. One of her students has some "issues". She is socially awkward, has poor hygiene and generally exhibits signs that she may have some developmental issues. Apparently the girl is failing all her classes too. The woman thinks something may be "off" with her home life. The kid will sit in her car for hours after her lessons not going home. She apparently mentioned suicide to one of the other kids at the barn too. The girl's parents may be part of the problem though.. one attempt to deal with the hygiene issue by using deodorant more regularly.. the girl told them that her mom said to use it "sparingly because it's expensive". The parents are according to the woman.. "weird" and she can't believe they aren't doing anything about her hygiene or school etc...
So the question put to me was what should she do? Should she contact social services? the School? I mean, it sounds like the girl may have some moderate developmental issues but it also doesn't 100% sound like her parents are outright abusive.. perhaps they are just "weird" people? But the mentioning of suicide, to me, I don't think can be ignored. But a boarding facility owner isn't really equipped to handle stuff like this (she doesn't have kids of her own.. so she doesn't have that history either)... Would a call to the school counselor be appropriate? To be honest, I'm not sure what she can do since it's apparent to her that her parents are not paying her much attention.
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If she's suddenly failing all
If she's suddenly failing all of her classes, the school counselor is likely already involved. I usually suspect hoarding/filthy living conditions when I see an older teen girl with terrible hygiene. I would be tempted to call the police for a welfare check concerning the suicidal thoughts. They will insist she goes to the hospital if they talk to her and she seems depressed. They can also check out the home and if it's as bad as I imagine it is, they can press charges against her parents.
I'm not sure if the school
I'm not sure if the school work failure is all of a sudden or not. Apparently the girl has no friends and I'm sure her social skills (lacking) and hygiene are both factors there.. which probably makes school a miserable place to be anyway.
For my own peace of mind, I
For my own peace of mind, I would call the school.
This is sort of where I
This is sort of where I leaned when talking to the woman last night. Apparently the parents are well off.. but they are putting a lot of pressure on the girl to work to pay her horse lease (which THEY insist is full not part time.. even though the girl doesn't ride every day and would be fine sharing the horse). So.. she is working all weekend.. plus at the barn a lot during the week.
Unfortunately, the source for the suicide talk is another girl at the barn who does have a mental disability.. so it's not like she can really get involved.. or be dragged into a bad situation (she didn't know what suicide meant). but, the woman does believe that it came up.
I thought the school counselor might be a more low key intervention to bring the girl in for a talk.. without going full on mental hold when it might not be all that serious.
School counselors deal with
School counselors deal with school issues, and while they will refer to children's services if issues of depression are uncovered, they do not primarily deal with mental health issues. Also, due to federal confidentiality laws, school counselors are limited when speaking to non guardians about a student. You might not even be able to speak to the school counselor as a non parent.
Here, they would tell you to call children's services yourself as a call from the party who witnessed the incident or actually talked to the student will be taken seriously.