I have been involved with a man whom I will call "DB" instead of "DH" (Dear boyfriend instead of dear husband!) for almost two years now. His daughter is 4 years old, was 2 1/2 when we started dating. I will refer to her as SD4. We live together and have since we started dating, so I have been a very integral part of raising SD4. He has full custody of her because in July of 2011 her BM signed a contract stating that she would only have visitation with SD4 supervised by her parents (her biological father and stepmother) and not drive in a vehicle with her after she was released from jail for assault. If you couldn't tell already, BM is a hot mess. She is an active alcoholic/pill user who is one of those people who just can't seem to find the openess, willingness and honesty to get sober and practice a recovery program. My boyfriend and I are both in recovery ourselves, a few years successfully (just for today of course!). To make a long story short she filed papers in April of 2012 to regain some custody of her daughter. We were supposed to go to court in November of 2012 but after finding out the evidence we had against her to show the way she was living she checked herself into rehab the day before we were to be in court. She got out in Dec. of 2012 and was drinking again within 30 days, this time with some very public documents to prove her lack of sobriety (eye witness accounts, police records, 911 calls). She wanted DB's lawyer to drop the custody court date as she knew she had really screwed up, but DB's lawyer thinks that he has a very good case for sole custody at this point so a looming court date was imminent, and once again BM knew we have very strong evidence against her. She called DSS in the beginning of April 2012 claiming we have guns in the house and that I was abusing alcohol. I had to leave work, DB had to leave work, and we had to pick up SD4 from school and meet the caseworker at the house. After some quick interviews and a look around he closed out the case and said it was clearly false; we never heard from him again even though he said he was going to follow up with us. The weekend of May 3rd 2013 SD4 left to go to her biweekly weekend visit at BM's parents house (whom she also lives with as well b/c she can't hold a stable job and has terrible credit). That Sunday, a few hours before we were to pick her up we received a phone call from DSS telling us that some very serious allegations had been made against us and a "no contact" order had been placed on DB and I. BM accused us of sexually assualting SD4 this time to DSS. The few weeks following that were absolute hell, DB and I were terrified everyday that we were going to be taken to jail for a crime we clearly have never committed. A police detective showed up at my work to interview me, etc. It was just insane. The police closed out their case after a week, but DSS has not finished their "investigation" yet and it has been EIGHT WEEKS now since we have seen SD4. The judge involved placed a temporary emergency cutody order in effect giving custody to BM's parents, but basically they have given her BM custody b/c as I mentioned before, she lives with them. BM's parents go along with all of her insaneness and even signed statements themselves saying they are worried for SD4's safety. The whole situation is just unreal to me, it has been the hardest 8 weeks of my life. I've gone from being extremely sad, to extrememly angry, to absolutely INFURIATED that there is a state department out there who will support someone as SICK as SD4's BM. We do have a lawyer and he is promising us that heavy sanctions will be placed on BM after all this is done, including her having to pay our court costs (b/c the truth is SLOWLY coming out that no assualt or molestation has ever occurred and why BM has made these allegations) but the fact still remains that we have not been allowed to see her in 8 weeks a court date has not yet been given and this whole time her little baby brain is being poisoned by her awful BM. Can anyone offer any kind of advice or experience with this sort of thing???? I'd be so grateful to hear from someone who has dealt with this before and how it turned out for you. Thank you!!