i was singing these lyrics in my head during the whole trip this evening to pick up my stepson. this is "jimmy", by tool, and mirrors what i feel when he has to go to his mother's home, and mirrors what i feel when we bring him back home to us.

What was it like to see
the face of your own stability
suddenly look away
leaving you with the dead and hopeless?
Eleven and she was gone. Eleven is when we waved good-bye.
Eleven is standing still, waiting for me to free him by coming home.
Moving me with a sound. Opening me within a gesture.
Drawing me down and in, showing me where it all began, Eleven.
It took so long to realize that you hold the light that's been leading me back home.
Under a dead Ohio sky, defending his light, and wondering... where the hell have I been? Sleeping, lost, and numb. So glad that I have found you. I am wide awake and heading home.
Hold your light, Eleven. Lead me through each gentle step by step, by inch, by loaded memory. I'll move to heal as soon as pain allows so we can reunite and both move on together.
Hold your light, eleven Lead me through each gentle step by step, by inch by loaded memory
'till one and one are one, eleven, so glow, child, glow. I'm heading back home.

defending his light and wondering...

i'm full of the sad stuff right now. anyone else use music to heal sometimes?