I know now that how I felt or feel about the BM and the kids and the inlaws is mostly SO's fault. He made me feel bad about the way I looked or the way I am and I have been unable to feel like an individual since I moved in with him. (I'm tall and thin and I have my own successful business)So I am ready to get my wings back and go live in a trailer if I need to. So that I don't have to feel jealous or bad because the ex gets everything she wants even though she has been an unkind person. I don't want to hear about all the sister-in-laws new houses or wonderful weddings and how beautiful they all are. I really would be happy without everything just being shoved into my face. I mean I was never like this until I got into this family. I use to live in a garage and I was very happy with my life... How sad is that? That I was happier living in a garage because I was never compared to anyone else?... How they had much bigger and better boobs than me and how their birthing experience was much more traumatic and how poor they feel because of their life choices. I'm ready to be very poor and free and happy!