BM told SS 19 this same exact lie his entire life, unfortunately he didnt tell me about it until he was 17, they had seperated when he was 3 and I met DH 6mths after they seperated. You're lucky to have caught the lie at a younger age even though she's 10. For me, SS grew up believing that his dad cheated on his mom with me. Even after I showed SS proof that it was a lie, he didnt believe me, he was conditioned his entire life to believe that lie and it stuck. SS resents me, is disrespectful to me and blames me for the fact that his father wasn't near (I lived in another country and met DH on vacation and he later moved in with me). The lies will never end on behalf of BM if she is toxic. As long as you always keep your word with your SD and your hubby backs you up she's still young enough to eventually see the truth. Good luck! <3

Yes, this has been BM's line since H and I started dating. At this point in my relationship, I do not doubt that he did cheat on her during their marriage. However, he did not cheat on her with me. I have so much proof of the timeline of our relationship that any person with half a brain could easily see that H and I didn't meet until they'd been divorced (actually finalized) for a year before we even met each other. But BM has told this story to the kids since they were 4 and 2, and they believe it with all their hearts (15 and 17 now) and have told MANY people that he left BM for me. It is so hurtful that they could believe that I would do something like that, but after defending myself for the past couple of years after this came to light, I had to let it go for my own sanity. The people I actually care about know the truth, and that's all that really matters.

What's with these women claiming these absurd stories when clearly time lines don't match! How did your SD handle what DH said? She believe him and then question BM? 
 

I didn't go through this but, skids believe BM and SO "fell out of love." Aka.. BM was cheating on SO. Skids still don't have knowledge of this at 17,16, and 14. SS17 might have some assumption because he is older but, I know for fact SD has no knowledge and I don't think SS16 realizes it either.

The most you guys can do (IMO) is correct BMs lies with facts. I'm big on facts... you can't deny them. There is a way of giving facts that isn't "bashing" the bio parent.

Its not just for the school system.

Toxic Troll likes to do this, and program herself and the children to believe it.

Read my blogs. Its all there.

A snapshot view is when TT tells SD14almost15 formerly known as Munchkin, that her father was grumpy and angry all the time and thats what caused the divorce. No mention made of her cheating.

Also, when TT is arguing with DH she likes to say " you used to hit me" and then he has to correct her with "no you were drinking and we got into an argument and you tried to punch me and I pushed you away and you stumbled into a wall and thats why you have bruises".

Its the same chit. Re-writing history so that they look like the victim, the DH looks like the bad guy and SM looks like EVIL INCARNATE.

Good for DH to nip it.

Speaking of re-writing history. Id like to go back in time and re-write doing anything for ungrateful skids.

Bm has been telling SS12 for 6 years that I am the reason her and DH split. I still have to remind him that he was there when I met DH and BM was already married to another guy (they guy she was cheating on DH with). 

What spews from the mouth of BM is looked upon as gospel to SS. Just keep telling SD the truth. I have a saying to SS, "I won't lie to you, but there are going to be some truths you don't like hearing."

Wow, just wow.  Your DH is lucky SD said something and he was able to correct the lie, and that SD believed him.  I can't believe these shitty parents who blatantly lie to their kids to make the other parent look bad.

In my DH's case, BM was a serial cheater.  SDs do not know that, and I can't imagine they ever will.  DH would never tell them that was the reason he and BM got divorced. He has always said that her cheating was a symptom, not the cause, of the problems in their marriage.  Just for laughs, up until a couple years ago the SDs didn't even realize DH and BM had been married, even though they were married for 5 years.

This is typical of high-conflict BMs, not unusual at all.  I hope DH told BM to stop lying to SD.

My SD lays the blame for the divorce on DH and I am the cause.
DH2 and his ex were divorced when the kids were 18 and 20. She died a couple of years later. After her death a friend set me up with DH2. When we met, we realized that DH2, his deceased ex, my deceased DH1, and I had all played on the same mixed league 25 years earlier (league had about 80 players).  We had not seen each other since the league, and I only played two years.

We, DH2 and I, thought it was a funny coincidence. DH2 told his kids about it. After our marriage SD was getting married and I was having a conversation with the mother of the groom. She asked my opinion about something and I said that it was SD's decision. Mother of the groom then said that she should have realized that SD would not want my opinion as I'd always be the other woman. 

Somehow SD and her husband have decided that casually knowing someone years ago is equivalent to an affair that broke up the marriage.

Satan is on par with Delilah or Circe.  Gorgeous, irresistible, no man would ever cheat on her.  Their romance rivaled Camelot.  But DH turned into a mean, abusive bully.

She's fiesty and loves to flounce and flip her hair.  She's adorable, I tell you, adorable!  Methinks she's read a few too many romance novels.

She reminds me of the dancing hippos in Fantasia.  She's graceful like a jackhammer.

DBDB had told SS23 that DH had her locked in a room and beat her for hours.  She told this to him when he was 16 and of course she was drunk.  He was so beside himself that he went and talked to DBDB mother and DBDB brothers who all confirmed it was a lie and that if it did happen that DH would have been in jail and the brothers would have gone after DH.

Still never understood why she would tell him this, but then again, we are learning that her bad mouthing DH has no rhyme or reason.

DBDB and I have mutual friends who are slowly dropping off her friend circuit.  They now call her the "old washed out drunk"  So sad

BM was living with the guy she was cheating with while she was pregnant with SD when I met ExH three years after they broke up. Yet, somehow I was the "Red-headed Hussy". She spewed more lies over the years. When SD was 16 she came across her file drawer. It contained all of the paperwork from court, letters back and forth, schooling info, etc. She read through the entire drawer before she told ExH she found it and wanted to know why BM lied so much. 

Anyone else have BM spreading lies??

Oh yes, this is quite common.

Don't be surprised if your SD still believes the lies and does NOT think that BM is a sack of sh!t. The loyalty runs deep, even to lying, manipulating BMs.

First tried that SO was gay because he broke up with her.

 Then she stalked a couple women he went out with before me.  We met over 2 years after their divorce.

Ten years later and BM was stalking her on again off again BFs other women he went out with using almost the same text she had sent me years ago (we know because she gave her 17 yo daughter BMs former iPad without wiping any emails...and daughter shared with my SO).

Funny enough, SO said he felt hurt because he thought BM might have in some twisted way cared about him.  Now he knows it's just her crazy pants MO. *lol*

They all do this, it's called rewriting history! They blame you because before you were around they still considered your SO theirs. Even if they were truely long over, until there was another woman in her spot they thought they could get him back if they really wanted. Him having another serious relationship meant it was finally OVER over. And who's fault is that? Yours. So therefore you ruined the marriage because you stood in the way of the reconciliation that was definitely going to happen (not).

My DH was a few years separated when we met, he gave up on the divorce because BM wouldnt agree to any terms that weren't ridiculous because she wanted to stretch it so they would be married 10 years total thinking she could take his pension then, she couldn't! But yeah, he was living with a roommate and she accused him of living a double life when we started going out. Yeah ok.

In particular those who are narcissistic or have other personality disorders. They are never at fault, everyone else must look like the bad guy. Very strong alienation tactic as well, I'm surprised your SD felt something was wrong and approached your DH about it. My skids will ask but then turn around and call us liars when the truth is different to what BM has said.

example: BM told skids she left DH because he was abusive. She left when they got into an argument and he hit her. Nuh uh. Never happened. SHE HIT HIM and he walked away from her. It's in the police report, he was the one with the swollen face. She even admitted to it in court, though conveniently not a single person was in court to support her during her cross-examination so the only ones who heard it directly from her mouth are DH and me. When DH has tried to correct this with the kids, he is a liar, they even go so far as to say they remember him hitting her. They were both under 3 when this happened, they don't actually remember anything, they have had artificial memories created for them.

Rewriting and reshaping history and memories, HCBM is the victim in everything.