My hubbys family is on fb and chat to the oldest sd 17 who caused nothing but trouble for us and still is bad mouthing us ... drives me crazy .. they recon there friends with her to give us info but after everything she has done to us and our kids i wish someone would tell her a few things and set her straight ....

My husbund finally had to tell my mother in law to stop comunication with BM or he would stop communicationg with his mother. He explained to her how hurtful it was and how disrespectful it was to both of us. The communcation with BM stopped immediatly. Your Husband needs to stand up to his family.

Depending on your visitation/custody agreement, they may be doing this so BM won't deny them access to their nieces, nephews and grandkids. Does BM have the kids most of the time? Perhaps they want to remain on her good side so she won't deny them access to the kids.

My dad and mom were high school sweethearts. They divorced when I was 6. They remained friends with each others' families. They're still close with each others' families to this day.

SoTired1
Apparently, I'm missing something from your text. What's the problem with your husband remaining sociable with BM's family. She is the mother of his child(ren) and for that reason he will always be connected to BM & perhaps her family. It seems as though he has established a lasting relationship with BM family & just because he's no longer with her (in my opinion) does not suggest he has to cut ties of his relationship with her family. I mean you're talking about FaceBook friends. . .why are you being so petty?? Get over it and put yourself in his shoes. My husband has 2-kids out of wedlock with two different women and of one of the women DH's mother maintains a relationship with BM's family & BM. . .my thoughts are??? Who cares & actually I too have an affection for BM's parents & a few of her family (they're actually nice people). Life is short. . .you should focus more on loving your husband and not trying to control whom he has in his circle of fam & friends.

This is only my opinion.

"Only the wisest and stupidest of man never change."--Confucius

I've never really viewed BM's relationship with BF's family as having any impact on my own relationship with BF's family. My relationship with my inlaws are independent from her relationship with them. Because I'm able to seperate the two, it's easier to accept.

As far as BM's family? I view them as independent from BM. Instead of BM's brother, it's (insert name), instead of BM's Dad or Aunt, it's (insert name). They are totally independent of BM in my mind, they are their own person...and so is my relationship with each.

______________________________________
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

As a BM, I am facebook friends with my EH and his brother and some of his other close friends and cousins. I am still friends with them all even though I'm not still in the family circle. If we can maintain a friendship and all get along, then perfectson's life is that much better. This way they can all still share in pictures and achievements they would otherwise not get to be a part of since we don't live close. I would hope that any future SM of perfectson would understand this and not be intimidated or jealous by this. I will always be perfectson's mom and facebook can be a great way to keep in touch and share things and actually with facebook I can have LESS phone contact and anything said or shared is right there for anyone to see. Just my thoughts as a BM.

One of my DHs exs has my SD16 on her FB and she calls SD HER STEP DAUGHTER whenever she refers to her. That pisses me off so much....BM of SS11 was her SM for a hot minute...like a year TOPS and that was 10 years ago. I don't know why it bothers me so much...it really shouldn't because I can't stand BM or SD for that matter...she (BM) used to bad mouth DH and I on MySpace and on FB. I finally had enough and blocked her and her bitch of a sister who runs her mouth about me and has NEVER even met me! They are such white trash it's unreal. I have just recently removed my SS and SD from my FB as well. They are immature little brats who like to stay in my business and then run and "tell on me" when they look at my FB. Now I rarely get on there just to avoid all the drama!

****I can do bad all by myself****

If the parties divorced are CIVIL I dont see the big deal but I do see a problem when the BM & BF are not civil and they are friends with each other families.

DH and BM have had a nasty divorce, she has tried to keep the kids at a minimal with DH & I b/c she knows if we have them more, the less in CS she gets. She has recently been doing drugs, and the list goes on. MIL and SIL were friends with her on Myspace and FB. They both had posted pics of DH & BM together (not with the kids, just the two of them) AND then pics of DH and me. It was weird to me and they were friends with her and me. BM was OBSESSED with myspace and changed her status 30x a day about crap with DH and me and it got so bad I deleted mine b/c I'm too old for that crap. And she's 5 yrs older than me!! MIL's relationship with BM put a strain on the relationship she had with DH. MIL saw, talked and did stuff with BM all the time for the "sake of the kids". But correct me if I'm wrong, going out on partying is NOT for the sake of the kids!!

Anyway, DH stopped talking to MIL after he confronted her and she continued her friendship with BM. The day we deleted her from our FB, BM showed up on her account!! Its SO much drama. Our pages, pictures, comments, everythign are blocked for this reason. I wont delete my page b/c I've reconnected with a lot of people.