So SS and GF baby’s 1st birthday party was yesterday

I wound up chipping in more than I told myself I would… I made 14 pounds of Italian pork roast, 8 lbs of sausage, a pot of sauce and a tray of baked ziti

DH was the one who eventually wound up cleaning off the window-sills and my bio-kid (DD-13) cleaned the downstairs bathroom

Okay, whatever… party was going just fine. My biokid said to me as we were getting ready for guests to arrive “I’ll bet GF’s mom shows up late, and drunk, with some lame dip or something, like she did for the shower”

Well, biokid hit the nail on the head EXACTLY!

Really this woman looked ridiculous…I’ll start with the over the knee, platform high heel black stripper boots, working up to the red “jeggings”
On top, this woman is HUGE! She had implants done and they’re freakish looking… she was wearing a black spaghetti strap cami that plunged down so far that half of her boobs were hanging out, not to mention that it wasn’t nearly long enough, so her red jeggings pulled up were creating the worst camel toe I’d seen in a very long time

Over top of the black cami, she wore a “sweater” which was a strip of cloth down the middle, and lots of fringe-ey strings going across from side to side, it was short sleeved and had these open grommet things across the cuff

Working our way up to the jet black dyed hair, teased out and a mile high badly placed fake eyelashes and Tammy Faye Baker style makeup, red lipstick of course!

She showed up 45 minutes late so drunk she had to get her daughter to parallel park her car, she carried with her a plastic container that she bought a half dozen deviled egg halves… and practically shoved them at me, “here, I got you some appetizers”
(gee, thanks!)
My biokid and I were standing in the kitchen with my sister in law, my SIL says “who hired a go-go dancer for baby’s first birthday party?” (she has a face that was as serious as a heart attack) my biokid and I started giggling and she said to me “I called it mom! I was right” our neighbor was in the vestibule and was making the international sign for drinking from across the way, and making faces at me, I was trying my hardest not to totally crack up!

As her daughter was parking her car, she zoned in on our wine rack and asked if that was the wine for the party, (we didn’t serve any alcohol, it’s a kids’ 1st birthday party) I told her, sorry, no we’re not serving wine at this party… so she called her daughter who was parking her car, and told her to go to the bar and pick up two six packs of beer for her.
The effing daughter, knowing that her mother showed up drunk, went and got this woman two sixes of bottled beer.

More drama:

GF’s nephew (sister #1’s kid) walked in, took his coat off, walked up to the birthday cake and planted his face squarely into the side of the cake and took a bite, then went back and did it AGAIN… I grabbed the kid by the shoulders and pulled him off, his sister saw what happened and started putting her finger in the side of the cake, I had to put my arm in front and tell them both that they were NOT to touch the cake AGAIN< get it!

GF’s niece, kept taking the presents off the table and opening them up, nobody stopped her but me!

Grandbaby wanted to sit on his rocking chair, I pulled it around and he was having a nice time sitting in it, and the nephew walks up from behind and says “MY CHAIR” and dumps my grandson out of the chair, and then pulls the chair away… I had enough at that point, I grabbed the chair out of the little brats hands and said “this is NOT your chair and you just hurt my grandson, now apologize and go tell your mother what you just did”
The mother of course was sitting right there and saw the whole thing and did NOTHING!

While grandbaby was opening presents.. oh wait, he wasn’t doing any of the present opening, the niece and nephew and GF were opening all the presents… anyway, during the present opening… the nephew half tore out a page out of one of those recorded books that my husbands ex-wife read for the grandbaby, the niece stepped on a little v-tech notebook looking toy and snapped that in half…
I finally took both kids by the hands, took them over to the sister and said, “your kids just broke two of grandbaby’s toys, please watch your kids and keep them from breaking anything else…

Well, THAT made me the bad guy… she got all teary (bullshit) and put the coats on the kids and left. (good riddance)
My sister in law said to me “I was ready to drop kick those kids!”
My step-daughter was trying to keep track of who gave what presents (why? I have no idea, the GF doesn’t write thank you notes) she kept looking at me like “do something” when these kids were getting out of control… okay so I was the bad guy!

GF’s brother sat in the middle of the love seat by himself, like a lump, half stretched out so that nobody else could sit there, (we had 50 people and it was tight, an extra seat would have been nice) GF gave him HALF of the cake that was left over after the party (the cake that WE bought) the load that he is, sat and ate and ate, and ate… he kept leaving soda cans on my end table with nothing underneath of them, letting the empty cans pile up on the table…

To boot:
The mess called GF’s mother, proceeded to pound 12 beers in two and a half hours… I said to DH, should we let her drive home? Are we liable in anyway if she cracks up after she leaves here?
He said, “well, we didn’t serve any booze, so I don’t think it’s on us if she drives off the road, let’s just pray she doesn’t hit anybody”
I couldn’t hold my tongue, so I went to GF and said, “can you please talk to your sister and get someone to drive your Mom home, I don’t want anything to happen to her and I don’t think she’s able to safely drive”

I got the look of death… I really don’t care by the end of the afternoon, I had it with the whole crew of them.

So GF drove her mother home, SS went to pick her up from her mothers and they had a fight… GF did zero clean up, it was me, SS and my husband.

So, around 8:30 after the clean up was done and GF went upstairs to hide with the baby and me, DH and SS were sitting downstairs, watching TV, me with a very large glass of white wine in my hand… SS says (get this)
“I think the party went pretty well”

:jawdrop: