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30 hours before princess gets here

cornishmaid's picture

Submitted by cornishmaid on Fri, 06/27/2014 - 4:56am

Dreading her arrival already. I'm a new member and i had some great responses to my first post. Please enlighten me as to why my SD insists on baby talk, attention seeking, climbing all over her dad, hanging off any available body part, sucking up, puppy eyes, constantly showing how good, clever, she is, asking her father to go over and over how 'cute' she is, how she has to tell her 'dadda' that she loves him after every sentence, rolls her eyes after i speak, tries to outdo me at every turn, cries at a drop of a hat if she thinks anyone else is getting any attention. All i will hear all weekend is 'dadda, dadda, daaaadddaaa' for goodness sake, she's 10, not ten months. Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhh! Why does she have to do thus? X

Comments

Lady Sav's picture

Submitted by Lady Sav on Fri, 06/27/2014 - 5:14am

10??????? I thought you were talking about a 4year old! OMW.
Do something before you start having problems in your relationship.

JingerVZ's picture

Submitted by JingerVZ on Fri, 06/27/2014 - 5:25am

First rule out any mental deficiency... If not, its regression and kids use baby talk because they are stressed or anxious. They continue to use it because they need to be "soothed".
So you are basically dealing with an emotionally stressed kid who uses the baby talk to get attention and comfort. There are underlying issues in this kid's life (could be instability in home life, the parent's divorce, whatever...) that causes it. It wont go away unless addressed. The child basically needs emotional and psychological re-assurance.

Ok that was the real reason.

Bitch in me says: The kid is just bloody annoying!I prefer my reason Wink

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Fri, 06/27/2014 - 5:46am

Welcome, nice to have new UK member here. I agree with outtahere - look up mini wife and Disney Dad. I never had problems with the former, but very much with the latter.

How does your partner behave when she acts like this? Get him to reinforce when she behaves more grown up, if he will, and ignore the baby talk act and demands for reassurance. Beyond normal father-daughter affection he should not be fawning on her when she is with you.

cornishmaid's picture

Submitted by cornishmaid on Fri, 06/27/2014 - 7:09am

Thanks all for your support and advice! Yes, there is a baby on the way but SD doesn't know - yet. She just insists on being in charge when she's with 'dadda', i find it nauseating and have attempted to reason with OH about it. Its been like this for 8 years since they split up, i think he feels guilty and over compensates. I will say that they split up because BM as a cheating whore. I can't stand her either, perhaps if she got up from her lazy ass and did something for her kid i wouldn't have to deal with such a attention seeking little madam, but that is another story! X

katielee's picture

Submitted by katielee on Fri, 06/27/2014 - 9:10am

Katielee is right here rolling her eyes and puking in her mouth. I hear all the time about how "Mini-Wife Syndrome" is not real, but they all seem to have the same set of symptoms. If it's not real, then what the hell is it? Some kind of stepmother conspiracy? Puh...lease...

furkidsforme's picture

Submitted by furkidsforme on Fri, 06/27/2014 - 7:15am

The problem isn't the SD, it is your husband and the relationship he has created with his daughter. You better seriously get on the same page with him about how your kids will be raised and treated, including step-princess, or you are in for a lifetime of hurt my dear.

katielee's picture

Submitted by katielee on Fri, 06/27/2014 - 9:16am

YES, the problem is with the husband and the way the daughter has been allowed to step into a role that isn't fit for a child, but most of these dads don't even realize it's happening/happened until they meet someone who notices that the "wife" position is already filled. People want to come down real hard on the dad and cast blame... so let's go ahead and get this out of the way. YES, the BLAME belongs to Dad.

The SOLUTION is in helping Dad understand there is, indeed, a problem with the relationship and teaching the stepdaughter a more appropriate role within the family. It is not easy and it is not gentle.

You have to be SUPER consistent in curbing Mini-Wife behavior. Sometimes Dad can't/won't accept there is a problem and it is left to the SM to work to correct the problem. This is even less easy than having Dad on board, but it is still doable.

We deal with Mini-Wife Syndrome here on a regular basis. MOST of the time it is under control, but occasionally it rears its ugly head. That's when I go into Queen mode and squash the hell out of it.

cornishmaid's picture

Submitted by cornishmaid on Fri, 06/27/2014 - 7:22am

Sweet pea, you crack me up! Yup, i know - she is like a wife to him, its as scary as hell. I'm going to have to sort this one out soon, otherwise it will implode x