If I could have a pregnancy Do-over I wouldn't tell anyone except my parents and siblings. I think telling the SD depends on your relationship with her. Like I did with SSthen3 I made him think his role as a big brother was a really big deal. Perhaps you can go this route with your skid. If you think she will react badly then wait until you can't possible hide the bump anymore and tell her which would then limit the time left you'd have to deal with her negativity. On the other hand if you think she will need time to adjust then tell her as soon as you hit the All Clear Mark and tell her so she has the rest of the 9+ months dealing with it. I don't know your SD so I can't tell you which you should use but I do think you should tell her yourselves before BM gets a clue and puts a negative spin on it. Maybe you can do a cute Big Sister Reveal or something.

Congratulations! I'm so happy for you.

I agonized over telling SS15, who would then tell BM.

I wanted to announce at Xmas, but we were concerned it would "ruin" Xmas for him.

We announced at Xmas, DH tried to get me to tell SS first even before my parents so he wouldn't be in shock and I wasn't going for it.

My parents were told Xmas eve, DHs family and SS were told on Xmas.

SS just said he was surprised, and we never heard a word from the Xwife until a week after I gave birth when she told DH that she was pregnant. Lol.

Congratulations!!!!! Just do what you think is best. I agonized over it too and I didn't even need to and it turned out fine.

Congrats! I'm at 12 1/2 weeks myself. We plan to tell skids soon. I had all the same fears as you. Will let you know how it goes!

I am so deeply happy for you (hugs). Handle it one day at a time. My husband couldn't keep a secret if it meant saving his life. He was so protective and didn't drink, which was unusual for him. People guessed although we didn't confirm or tell the kids until I was 14 weeks.

Congratulations!! I am 19 weeks now and DH couldn't keep it in - he told Skids when I was 10 weeks(!). Luckily BM had has her own illegitimate spawn with her 'affairee' during the divorce, so kids out of context is nothing new for his brats. SS20 was civil and said 'congratulations' and apparently (over phone) SD17 said 'what, really? No, seriously?'. She hasn't mentioned it since.

I would love to tell you that anxieties don't worsen during pregnancy but I have found my hormones have run riot with me so far. If at all possible I would try to iron out any niggles you have now (while DH is still glowing). Also if you are close too the skids then get them as involved as possible ("we are NOT replacing you").

I am having nightmares about SD hurting my baby like she does BM's son, so we will see whether she is allowed to be involved (one strike and you're out on this one I'm afraid). At the end of the day no matter how everyone else makes you feel, YOU are the important one - it just becomes hard to remember that sometimes! Enjoy basking in this glory!

Congrats Hon.........

Now why would you want to tell BM, it's none of her business....
Wait out the first trimester and when you start showing, simply take SD on a bonding day.... then tell her, SD I have to share a secret with you..... you are going to have a little brother or sister and I am very very scared, do you think you would be able to help me with the new baby.....

I am sure SD10 will be very happy, she's getting another sibling, she will not be angry, remember BM has allot of other kids, and if handled correctly SD10 will write off SD12 and BM.....she will feel she belongs with you and DH and your new family, she might view this as a real family now....

There must be a reson why this happened Hon, and I think to help SD10 is reason enough.

Congratulations!!