TW * Domestic Violence *

So, after my call with Sweet Sharon about Cunning Connies Facebook post, I stopped by her house after work, to give a hug and read the reports and just give a shoulder.

She cried and was shaking. Having gone through and read the reports and the love letters begging for more chances, the pictures.

She told her stories of abuse and escape. She was reliving it all. Mostly she was afraid of how it was going to affect her daughter.

Today, this am, I read her post on Facebook, she threw it all out there, without glossing. Its beautiful and tragic and its also our story in some cases. I have read of many stepparents that stay to protect the skids. Ive reccomended people leave these relationships...

Ive included the text below:

***** Start of post ***

I've thought long and hard about addressing the hateful, jealousy-fuled, lie-filled post recently blasted on here about me from someone who does not know me and never has. I've decided to address it once and move on.

30 to 35 years ago I was a battered wife married to an alcoholic Jekel and Hyde. I tried for years to leave my abuser but was sucked back into the relationship each time. I was young, broke and had no family nearby to help me. I mostly kept my side of the story quiet in the typical battered wife syndrome fashion. Many of you remember me coming to work with black eyes, having him show up at my work and refusing to leave, and some of you helped me by driving me to the hospital, staying with me, or helping me move. As time went on he was not getting better despite several arrests, three rehabs with periods of sobriety and a diversion program. I was worried for my kids and since he stole money from my purse, I got smart and started a secret bank account and went back to college to prepare for our future life without the abuser. It took a few years of depositing a few dollars a day from my tips, but I finally was able to save enough to get a place for me and my kids, hire a lawyer and leave for good. My biggest regret is that I did not leave sooner and I wish I could have. My number one job was to protect my kids from this abuse. I eventually did. That is the ugly truth. I am not sure how blaming the victim 30-35 years later is productive or what purpose it serves this individual, other than a chance to be relevant on social media, gain sympathy and attention, and to try to destroy my reputation.

I have a box of police and court records showing that I was the abused one and that her son was never harmed by me. Although I learned that AFTER I left the marriage he was beaten twice by his father when he was allowed to visit his father. It is heartbreaking that her son was not protected after I left. I continued to go to court and made sure my ex was not allowed to be near my kids and all visitation rights were terminated. The stalking and harassment continued by my ex after the divorce so I eventually moved away and kept my location secret from him and his family. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and my ex apparently could never maintain sobriety and just got worse until he died from his disease a few years later.

This was a horrible, painful time in my life that I never wanted to dredge up, but I ended up with a wonderful daughter from him and both my kids went on to thrive. The experience motivated me to move into the legal field and fight injustice in every way I could, which I have done for 25 years. My kids are healthy, happy, thriving individuals and have good lives. I am healthy, happy and thriving too. Some people just can't stand that.

Domestic violence is a cancer in our society. It breeds vicious rumors and contempt in the community, brings shame upon the victims and children, and scars their souls for life. I try not to judge people as everyone carries their own pain and has a cross to bear. I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I'll fight for what I love. These lies are not only damaging to me, but harmful to my family and must stop now. We've suffered enough.

Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me in support. I am truly grateful. If anyone has questions feel free to message me.