appropriate attire for a 12 year old?
My almost 13 year old stepdaughter got dropped off this weekend wearing an outfit that made her father's eyes sting. She is already developing a chest but her mom refuses to buy her a bra until she is 13 so when it gets cold you see everything so DH makes her wear an undershirt at our house. She had on a white belly shirt and denim skirt that she couldn't even bend over in. She knew we where going go-cart riding as soon as they got dropped off so I don't know why she thought that was an appropriate outfit. DH told her to go change and put on some clothes that fit and an undershirt. He looked like he wanted to scoop his eyeballs out and wash them in bleach.
SD went inside and instead of listing to her dad she called BM to complain. She handed DH the phone. BM told him she can pick her own clothes and if he thinks she is over sexualized hat is his problem and that only perverts would look at a 12 year old that way. DH told her his house his rules and hung up. SD12 got to go sit at MIL's house while her siblings went go-cart riding for throwing a fit about changing her clothes and for trying to go over his head with BM. She still refused to change so he had to resort to taking her TV and phone away.
She called last night to let DH know she never wants to come to our house again. DH told her to stop being a brat and that he will see her and her siblings next weekend. She hung up in his face.
Annnnnnnnnd....... the teenage years begin.
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Comments
It sounds like you're a very
It sounds like you're a very lucky SM who has a good DH that takes control and doesn't back down to either SD or BM.
And no, it didn't sound like appropriate attire with no bra and a skirt that you can't even bend over in!
I am thankful that DH and I
I am thankful that DH and I don't have girls. Walking through the girls department at any store makes me nervous. Summer attire this year looks like shorts with 2 inch inseams and tank tops that will leave nothing to the imagination.
That is the dumbest thing I
That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard- the bra part, nothing about you or your DH
I don't have a daughter but if I did and she needed a bra she would get a bra weather she was eight years old or sixteen years old! How is there a "magic age" for a bra?
I agree with soccerwife- get her bras for your house, or at minimum the tank tops with built in bras
Also- it is awesome that your DH didn't give into her tantrum or calling of her mom to complain and made her miss out- PARENTING WIN!
We have gotten her some tank
We have gotten her some tank tops with built in bras for her comfort and DH's piece of mind. I haven't taken her bra shopping because BM would lose her mind more than she already has. But I am going to pick her up some training bra's and put them in her drawer just because I know how it feels to develop breast. Sore itchy and uncomfortable and I actually care that she is comfortable.
I was thinking similar to you
I was thinking similar to you about the "magic age" for a bra, but also - what if she gets her period before the "magic age" that BM deems it appropriate - will she refuse the kid pads/tampons as well?
sheesh some people are so stupid they make my head hurt.
Credit to your OH for being a parent - where can I find one like that - can he come here and train mine?
Good for DH! And teenage
Good for DH!
And teenage girls suck!
First of all…BRAVO to your
First of all…BRAVO to your DH! Glad to hear he can stand up to BM. I agree with the idea of going bra shopping for her. Of course she's going to think that's "cool" and they will wander over to BM's house. I also agree that SD isn't dressing for DH to think like a "pervert", but DH knows what a 12 year old boy thinks of girls at that age. BM is just setting SD up for things SD is not ready for.
However, if BM supports SD to not see DH…that's PAS. Start documenting all the crap that BM will do to keep SD from visiting.